WHY JIM PITCHED A POP

Poor Jim, with his shampoo his roommate did a switchie,

Now, Jim's head is most terrible itchy,

Of course, Jim's roommate was so vile,

That he cracked one big smile,

Which Jim smacked with a pop bottle pitchie. 

I CAME ACROSS ZOMBIES

I came across zombies who were all eating bugs,

I offered them brains but, I got no bites or head hugs,

I think they were crazy,

Or, just really lazy,

To lazy to wipe drool from their mugs.

THERE ONCE WAS A GHOST NAMED NANCY-Limerick

There once was a ghost named Nancy,
She liked to dress up really fancy,
She liked to wear hats,
All covered with bats,
Which made any onlooker antsy.

Nancy was a real crazy ghost,
She liked to hide behind a post,
She would jump out and say,
"Boo! You go away,"
She was thought of as a poor host.

BEET THE WORMS

I went down to the rover to wash off my beets,

When I cook beets with butter, they're sought after treats,

But, when I washed off the clay,

I felt such dismay,

The roots were worm homes and worm eats.

TWINKLE, TWINKLE I'M A STAR

Twinkle, Twinkle I'm a star,
After spending Thursday at the bar,
But, I'm out on the range,
How I got here is strange,
And, I'm not sure who owns this nice car. 

FREE MAIL LANDS DOC IN JAIL

I never had to get my mail,

My neighbor Doc, got it without fail,

He didn't  give it to me,

Doc considered my mail was free,

I wonder which neighbor will get it, now that Doc is in jail.

SAMMY'S SANDCASTLE AND THE SEA

Sammy's sandcastle was built too close to the sea,
Along came a whitecap and it ceased to be,
Sammy was ticked,
Not for the location he picked,
But, at the water that set the sand grains all free.

WHAT I DO DURING COVID LOCKDOWN

I like to eat my pork,

I like to eat my beans,

I like eating two slices of bread,

With tuna in betweens,

I like to eat cupcake,

I like my tatters too,

I once cut them up with carrots,

And, cooked them in a stew,

I like my apple cider,

I blended it with beer,

Grandad went and drank too much,

That's why grandad isn't here.

I GOT KICKED OUT OF THE DORMS

I went to the Hub to watch some performs,

The RA walked in and I got kicked from the dorms,

It was mid-winter and it was freezin'

The wind blew hard, no gentle breezin'

So, I built a large fire to keep me toes warms.

FISHIN' FOR MALNUTRITION

I decided to go ice fishin',
For dinner I was wishin',
A crawdad cut my line,
So, on my bait he could dine,
For my dinner, I'll have malnutrition.
 

THERE WAS A MOUSE NAMED LARRY? Limerick

There was a mouse named Larry,
His tail was wide and hairy,
He chased it around,
And, guess what he found,
He was really a squirrel named Mary.

The Bacon Grease Murder

I fried my pancakes the best I canned,

In bacon grease I watched them expand,

I feed my guy lots of grease,

Though, it clogs his ticker piece,

But, life insurance I understand.