LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
Blogger ID
Translate
Search This Blog
Showing posts with label
outdoors
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
outdoors
.
Show all posts
Wednesday, February 19, 2025
POACHING MY WAY TO JAIL
My dinner was a little fish, its corpse was flaky and tender,
I caught it out of season, so I am a poaching fish, offender,
Last night I ate a rabbit,
I poached it; a bad habit,
Tuesday my crimes go before a judge, and to jail, he'll be my sender.
Sunday, February 16, 2025
THE FOG AND SMALL BOBBER, TROUT MYSTERY
A caliginous fog hung over the big, lake bay,
That made my small bobber fishing, difficult today,
I fretted with brain wonder,
Had my bobber gone under,
Did a rainbow trout grab my leach, and scurry away.
TUMBLEWEEDING TODAY
I am a tumbleweed, and I went tumbling today,
The wind pushed me along, faster than seeds, or dry hay,
I tumbled past some fence wire,
Into a blazing truck tire,
That's when I caught fire, and the wind blew me away.
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
ME AND MY TWIN AND THE BOAT
Although our summer boat was small, and made with tin,
It was the fishing vessel of myself, and twin,
We'd row on the lake,
To hook a fish steak,
Mostly, we got a severe sunburn on our skin.
Sunday, February 9, 2025
GAMMA GRANDMA AND THE MONKEYS PAW
My monkey's unearthly armpits, smell like bananas,
Not like chunk, diced onions, emanating from nana's,
My monkey's little paw,
Reminds me of grandma,
Her skin is so wrinkled, from sunbathing in gammas.
MY DAISY GOES AWAY
I had a beautiful, pet log, its name was Daisy,
I'd sit on it, and talk to it, like I was crazy,
Then one frosty, and sunny day,
A logger, took Daisy away,
I would have used her for firewood, but I'm lazy.
Thursday, February 6, 2025
THE BIG RACCOON ATE SUPPER
The raccoon and I knew that the near future would reveal,
Which one of us would become the other's evening meal,
I through hard fists in the fight,
The raccoon did scratch and bite,
After supper, the racoon said I was tender, like veal.
Tuesday, January 28, 2025
UP THE RIVER SMORES .
I canoed up the river, and I got very tired and soar,
I did not make it to town, so I took a camp upon the shore,
Found an old, torn, rubber tire,
Toasted marshmallows over fire,
Along came a big bear, and he toasted and ate me like a smore.
Saturday, January 25, 2025
IT WAS EAR POPPING COLD
After Benny played outside in the cold snow,
His nose got so stuffed up, Benny could not blow,
The blowback popped his ears,
Then he shed many tears,
As off to the hospital, he had to go.
Saturday, January 18, 2025
TAILS DID NOT WAG, WHEN THEY LOST THE DRAG
About 100 dogs ran down a long, sunny hill,
Chasing a big, green dragon through a wide field of dill,
The dragon got to the water,
Swam off, like a nimble otter,
The dogs were really mad, because they didn't get a kill.
Sunday, January 12, 2025
MAY 1ST: OPENING DAY OF THE MICHIGAN DRONE SEASON
It was the earliest part of the month of May,
I went drone hunting, one crystal clear, cold day,
With my shotgun named, Morris
And my two hound dog chorus,
We picked off a drone that came in from the bay.
Sunday, January 5, 2025
THE POLAR VORTEX AND ME
I am just a frozen popsicle on a ski,
Resulting from the Polar Vortex meeting me,
My jacket, all warm and tight,
Could not handle Vortex might,
I now stand as a statue, you can view for free.
Tuesday, December 31, 2024
THE LAKE ROAST
I got in the car, and drove up north to the potato bake,
Nana and gramps roasted spuds in a fire, down by the lake,
The spuds were wrapped in tin foil,
With the required olive oil,
We ate our potatoes with beans, and for desert, we chewed cake.
Monday, December 30, 2024
I ATE HIM FOR DINNER
I use to do cartwheels, when I was a kid,
I once did them on ice, and down the hill slid,
I slid into the road,
Found a fresh, frozen toad,
I ate him for dinner, I did.
Saturday, December 28, 2024
PAINT THE WEASEL AND DIE
I went out to Little Twin Lake, to find me a sabre tooth weasel.
I wanted to paint his picture on a canvass, held by an easel.
Found the weasel, and he got uptight,
Gave me a sabre tooth weasel bite,
I crawled to the road; stoped a semi-truck, which ran on stinky diesel.
MY EARS GOT A BATH IN THE BAY
I once had two large facial organs, some call ears,
I lost them fishing out on the crowded, bay piers,
For an entire day,
Fish hooks flew round my way,
I felt nothing, because I was full of malt beers.
Thursday, December 19, 2024
THE FOREST PRIMEVAL MONSTER
I went to the snow filled forest, Primeval, today,
To cut down some trees, to heat my cabin until May,
Used a sleigh, pulled by dogs,
To bring back all my logs,
A forest monster, followed me back to where I stay.
Wednesday, December 18, 2024
I MET HER IN MANCELONA: COUGAR EYES AND BAD BREATH
I went to Mancelona just to see where it is at,
The only thing I found there was a female, cougar cat,
The cougar decided to eat,
I had blubber, but not much meat,
I think amongst cougar cats, eating tourists is so, brat.
Tuesday, December 10, 2024
BEAR CUT
I moved to Clare Michigan, to be a cutter of hair,
Things were going very well, until in walks a Clare bear,
I cut some hair off the top,
Then the big bear yelled, "Stop!",
I wanted to cut much more, but I didn't think I should dare.
Sunday, December 1, 2024
BENNY GOT RETUBED
Benny used green leaves for toilet paper, and got a bad infection,
When he showed his old doctor, the doctor, quickly made a connection,
Some common green leaves, we all know,
Are poison, and cause drainage woe,
Benny stayed in the hospital, while they retubed his lower section.
Older Posts
Home
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Subscribe To Limericks and Stuff By Leigh Collin Brandt
Posts
Atom
Posts
All Comments
Atom
All Comments