THE WHIMSICAL LIFE CYCLE OF BELL FISH

Bell fish are swimming and mating, way out in the bay,

They go ding and they go dong, and they ding dong all day,

Baby bell fish are chimes,

They tinkle many times,

But, those poor baby bell fish, are food for the blue jay

FRESH FISH STEW FROM THE LAKE OF BLUE

The little creature floating in my stew,

I caught in the lake that was colored blue,

I bopped his head, so he would not come to,

If he did, this day he would come to rue,

He smelled like a fish, and tasted like poo.

THE GUESTS AT MY BED AND DINNER

It got so cold, I asked the rats to snuggle in,

In my creaky bed with the bedbugs, and my gin,

We were all warm and cozy,

While the outside got snowzy,

Next day, I ate the rats for my six o'clock din.

BLUE JAY OLYMPIANS.

Several blue jays set on my laundry line and made a swing,

They swung one at a time like it was a competitive thing,

Each swung high for a while,

Then competed on style,

For a participation award; a worm from the leaf pile.

I SHOULD HAVE WENT HOME WITH THE TENT

I went tenting, but I lost my warm cozy tent,

A tornado grabbed it, then back home it was sent,

Black rain clouds became my ceiling,

Electric bolts, I was feeling,

I'd be at a motel, but I cannot pay rent. 

THE IN-LAWS AND MOBY DICK

My awful in-laws have eaten all the worms in my pail,

I needed the worms to go fishing, to catch me a whale,

It just is not funny,

Those worms cost me money,

And in under three minutes, the fishing boat will set sail.

FRANK PICKS AND EATS HIS STRAWBERRIES

Frank picked little red strawberries, and put them in his bowl,

Before he set each berry down, Frank kissed them with his soul,

The berries were bitter,

Frank was not a quitter,

He thought he'd roll them in sugar, at least that was his goal.

A POINTLESS DAY RIVER FISHING

Donny went river fishing in his fibreglass canoe,

It had a couple of small leaks, because it was not new,

Donny didn't get bites that day,

He paddled down to the bay,

He did find a shinny stone, with a sparkle that was blue.

EYE HOLE DIGGERS

Some ticks fell down from the heavenly, blue sky,

They fell from the dead willow tree; oh dear, my,

I ran to my hotrod,

But, no use was my bod,

I was blind, because they dug holes in each eye.

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THE APPLESAUCE FROG BAIT

I opened a can of applesauce, and found a little frog,

The frog was cooked and mummified, sitting in a saucy bog,

I did not at all hesitate,

Picked out the frog to use for bait,

He caught me a fine sunfish, hiding beneath a hemlock log.

GERTY GOT DIRTY, ONE SUMMER DAY

I went white water rafting, one sunny day,

The river was yucky with swirling red clay,

My little dog, named Gerty,

Got her face all dirty,

I washed her face off, once we got to the bay.

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THE HIGH COST OF PRETTY FLOWERS

Leprechauns and unicorns and trolls; they all have to eat,

When they spy me working in my yard, they think of me as meat,

I must clean my springtime flowers,

To cause growth by springtime showers,

I just can't stay inside; so fairy critters will have a treat.

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TALE OF THE PRO-FISHERMAN

I bought me some crawlers, so I could catch trout,

There's big ones out there, in the streams all about,

See, I write a love story,

As I story my glory,

A love for my fish-craft, and my wins I tout.

KITE ON A WIRE

I went outside to fly my brand new red kite,

It kept crashing, because it was so darn light,

I flew it on a wire,

Lightning struck, it taught fire,

My tennis shoes melted, and now they're too tight.

HAPPY CAMPER KELLY

Kelly the happy camper, camps up north in the early springs,

Kelly roasts marshmallows, and does other happy camper things,

Sometimes he catches little fish,

Breaks their small bones, and makes a wish,

When Kelly is done breaking fish bones, he sits around and sings.

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LEE'S LINCOLN LOGS

I found some big logs left by my neighbor, Lee Lincoln,

He piled them a week ago, now they are stinkin',

It is not a real surprise,

He who touches the logs, dies,

If you get close to the logs, your eyes will start blinkin'.

GASSY SNOWMAN PART ONE

I put beans in my snowman, to see if he would get gassy and grow,

Low and behold he farted, and the fart had a big yellowish glow,

I didn't know whatever to do,

Snowman farting is something new,

I decided to ignore, and gave the snowman a tie with a bow.

NEIGHBORS WENT FERRELL AND ATE MY SHEEP

I had lots of sheep, a massive white flock,

I watched them like a hawk, around the clock,

Neighbors needed to eat,

Neighbors saw all my meat,

They took my sheep and clocked me with a rock.

THE DEER HUNT AND THE BAT LIMERICK

I climbed up a tree to hunt deer with my bow,
A big buck I targeted and was good to go,
But, the tree where I sat,
Was the home of a bat,
I then panicked and shot off my big toe.  

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STARTING PLANTS INDOORS

I bought a bag of potting soil to start pepper plants inside,

I grow amazing, pretty pepper plants that are my joy and pride,

I transplant them to pots on my deck,

I grow amazing peppers by the peck,

I feed them to my pigs and chickens, and so far, none of them have died.