HERMES: HEARTS AND SMELLS

Hermes loved the Poe story of "The Tell Tale Heart",

Unfortunately with Hermes, he had a tell tale fart,

And, just wouldn't you know,

The sound of farts would grow,

The sound was ever increasing, bringing Hermes regret and woe.

CRACKING PORCELAIN

It was cold in the morning, so Ben boiled some rice,

To give it good flavor, Ben buttered it twice,

To give his bowels some torque,

Ben added cans of beans and pork,

Ben spent the day exploding on his toilet device.

THE DAN WHO FARTED

My name is Dan,

Because I'm a man,

I eat beans from a can,

And eggs from a pan,

From the house, I got a ban.

THE PORCELAIN AND RON'S ALMOND NUTS

Ron wanted some peanuts to eat on today,

But, a bag full of almonds sat in the way

So, on the almonds Ron did feast,

Till Ron gassed up like a beast,

Then, the porcelain in the bathroom had to pay.

GRIEF FROM THE BEEF

I bought my family a big piece of beef,

Didn't know it would bring them constipation relief,

They used the stocks of toilet paper,

Painted porcelain, made bad vapor,

Clearance slimy beef is not worth the great grief.