TWO CANS OF TUNA AND SALMON MAKES IT THREE

I went to the grocery store to buy some tuna fish,

They only let me have two cans but, three was my wish,

The tuna order was short that day,

So, like a good sport I did obey,

I just added a can of salmon to make my fishy dish.

A WORM ATE MY DIPLOMA

I've spent my youth trying to complete my senior term,

I would have made it this time but, my belly got a worm,

The worm causes discomfort during class,

So, I wish someday he'd pass,

Every time I take a test the critter likes to squirm.

NEW CRACKERS ARE TOO EXPENSIVE

I paid too much for saltine crackers I bought new,

I paid too much for oyster crackers I bought new too,

Crackers are priced like high end beef,

I feel like I've been robbed by a thief,

I guess I'll just shop online for crackers sold "like new."

I TOOK THE TOOTH FAIRY TO COURT

I lost my tooth and the tooth fairy gave me only a dime,

The tooth had a gold cap so, the fairy committed a crime,

So, I took the tooth fairy to court,

The judge ruled that my tooth came up short,

 It was discounted because it was covered all in grime. 

FOREVER VILIFIED BY A PHOTO

In photos, why do thin people always stand next to me?

They make me look huge since, I have their girth times three,

I'm in a food hog position,

Causing them malnutrition,

At least that's what generations will see.

MEAN DON'T CUT IT WITH THE REEPER

I should of been my brother's keeper,

Told this was I by Grim The Reeper,

I was terrible mean,

Too late to come clean,

I'll be real uncomfortable when I'm a sleeper.

I WENT TO THE GROCERY AT THE END OF MARCH

I went to the grocery store at the end of March,

All I could afford was a small box of starch,

But, I'm glad it was present,

To feed this starving peasant,

I just need a pop or I'll parch.

YEARBOOK

I went to my senior yearbook but, that was a bust,

All of the pages had turned into dust,

Of course it might be a win,

For I never fit in,

I got by, got my diploma but, just.