I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP

Some days I just have to get sleep,

So, my pretty face I can keep,

Everyone pines,

To lose facial lines,

And, late nights cause face lines to creep.

I CHEATED TO GO TO SCHOOL

I got into college but I had to cheat,

I loaded the dean's freezer with a ton of deer meat,

I gained lots of knowledge,

While in barber college,

And, the dean had plenty to eat. 

WHEN THE MASKED TROOPS CAME INTO MY TOWN

Masked troops marched into my town,

All decked out in camouflage brown,

They beat me in the head,

And left me for dead,

I lived but don't know my up from my down.