I PLAGIARIZED MY TERM PAPER AND GOT AN F

I got a F on my term paper, because I plagiarized,
I copied from a book so, I'm not surprised,
I did not use quotes,
Let alone those tedious footnotes,
I guess that's why term papers are so despised.

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SAM THE SAILOR LIMERICK

There once was a sailor named Sam,
His teeth were carved from the shell of a clam,
During cold, clammy weather,
Sam's teeth stuck together,
Then, all Sam could mutter was "mam."

MY BAKING MAKES PEOPLE SICK

My blueberry muffins were not quite done,
After my friends ate them they all had to run,
Then, I baked a cake,
Which no one would take,
It seems no baked goods' patrons I've won.

LEAVE THE GOAT ALONE

I found a goat and took him straight to the fare,

I didn't realize he belonged to a backwoods bear,

Well, the bear came along,

He righted that wrong,

And, left my belly with a really big tear.

A FIGHT WITH TWO OR MORE GORILLAS

If you fight with two or more gorillas,

They'll each have 500 pounds over chinchillas,

Their bods are hard as a rock,

And, they will clean your clock,

Then, you'll take a dirt nap at one of the worm farming villas.

I COULD NOT PLAY MY TOOT, TOOT, TOOT

I could not play my toot, toot, toot,
My trumpet was broken but, not my flute,
Hence, I sounded a peep, peep, peep,
Which made the conductor weep, weep, weep,
So, out of the orchestra I got the boot.

"HEY BIG BEAR, I DON'T SCARE

A bear was out looking at my chicken koop wherein, lie my eggs,

I went to confront him and he stood up on his hind legs,

I said "you mister monster bear,

You are big but, I don't scare,"

 My son inherited the chicken koop less, the chickens and the eggs.

MY GOLDFISH AND THE PIE-HOLE

My goldfish were too big for their bowl,
I didn't have one larger to fulfill the bowl role,
So, I took my goldfish to the lake,
Where I thought they would take,
But, my fish ended up in a bullfrog's pie-hole. 

I WALKED THROUGH THE SHADOW IN THE OFFICE OF BAD BREATH

I walked through the office under the shadow of bad breath,

I turned away my coworkers:  Jim, Tom, Tim, Jane and Beth,

But, I did not get too excited,

Some days their breaths are blighted,

Besides, I'm the owner's nephew;  my dear old uncle Seth.  

TENT WORMS IN MY BRAIN

I fear that the tent worms are coming after me,😧

For I killed all the tent worms in my apple tree,🍎

They're drilling through my ears,👂👂

To muck up my brain gears,👩‍🎓📴

First I'm falling then, I'm crawling please, let my brains be 🆓.

NED GETTING CABLE LIMERICK

To get cable Ned needed a black box,
To hook it up Ned had to alcohol detox,
It was so complicated,
Just hooking up PG rated,
Ned cursed TV cable with "pox".

ADAM, HIS TRAILER AND THE POPLAR TREE POEMS

Adam lived in little tiny trailer,
His poplar tree had a structural failure,
It is too bad that Adam drank like a souse,
He was canned inside his own trailer house.

Adam had a trailer,
Under a poplar tree,
He passed out like a sailor,
Then, the tree fell on he.