MY DOG HATES SWISS CHARD OR, IS IT JUST ME

I had a pet doggy named Fred,

He became vicious when he wasn't fed,

But, when I fed him Swiss chard,

He bit me real hard,

So hard I bled out and went dead.

MACY THE WHITE TAILED DEER-Limerick

Macy is a white tailed deer,
She crosses traffic when it's clear,
She will wait for days,
She will look both ways,
That's why Macy is still here.

A deer named Macy eats in sweet corn fields,
She angers farmers as she reduces yields,
They all want her to pay,
She outwits them each day,
Her cunning is the one weapon she wields.

THE EATER OF BUGS PART II

Sid the Mantis was an eater of bugs,
He trounced on them and gave them no hugs,
In Sid's worldly view,
Bugs were just too few,
They taste great though they have ugly mugs.

The Little Living Brain

Though my family protested that I was insane,

I obtained a licence to fly an airplane,

Well, I let autopilot be my guide,

So, I could sleep on each ride,

Now, I swim in an ocean to keep a living brain.

DEATH OF A SPORTS CAR (NOT)

We went to the parade to celebrate Pride,

But, on the way there my Ford Focus, it died,

Good news, through the kindness of a stranger,

We road to Pride with his Ranger,

My little car didn't go but, it tried.

BARRY'S MARCHING BAND LIMERICK

Barry's band marched in a parade down the main street,

But, no one could tell their right from left feet,

They couldn't march in a straight line,

But, sounded just fine,

Even though, the drum major couldn't keep the beat.