FIRECRACKERS CAUSED MY EATING DISORDER

Firecrackers were so very loud last night,
They frightened my kitty and made him bite,
The crackers caused me ear pain,
And, most likely weight gain,
Because eating makes the crackers sound right.

I FISH FOR FOOTWEAR

I went out trolling and caught me a boot,
It fit well so I trolled for a suit,
Now, all I caught was a shoe,
But, it was red, white and blue,
So, I gave it a naval salute.

I BAN GETTING TAN

My tan lotion didn't make me real tan,
Instead, I turned red like tomatoes in a can,
Then, my skin peeled and peeled,
Until, I finally healed,
Now, sunbathing is an activity I ban.

THE BIRD BRAIN

A bird was flying right at me,
I wondered what it was,
It's identity was not important,
I just wondered just because,

I guessed it was a blue jay,
Then, I guessed it was a sparrow,
Then, I guessed it was a raven,
Then, I was struck down by the arrow.