I BOUGHT THREE FLUTES

I bought three flutes to play, but I can only play one flute, that is mine,

So I hired two more players, so we could play three parts that combine,

One flute toots high, the other low,

The center part, is where I go,

Our spreading fame landed us a gig, at a fried chicken dine and wine.

I CAN ONLY AFFORD BONEY SARDINES

My kippers are so expensive; way too high,

I cannot understand the any reasons, why?

I just have the means,

To buy canned sardines,

The bones catch in my throat, and one day I'll die.

CASPER'S NAUTICAL ADVENTURES

My short, silver dinghy, went sinking, then sucked down,

All of my favorite fishing bait, it all drown,

Except, Casper, the leach,

Swam off to the beach,

He became a hero, in the old fishing town.

CHIPMUNKS: CUTE FUZZY DISASTER HAIKU

Chipmunks, fuzzy, cute,
Digging under fireplace,
Bricks fall, down comes wall.

Chipmunk tunneling,
Driveway cracks, deck falls apart,
House sinks, floors slant, cute!

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RATS🐁🐁🐁🐁🐁

My house was full of stinky, rowdy rats; I caged them and made them pets,

I sold them for cash to neighbor kids; about that, I have no regrets,

Their parents got terribly mad,

One broke my nose, and made me sad,

I'm glad to repurpose vermin, rats; although, the neighbors it upsets.🐭

I SCARE BIRDS, WITH MY CHERRY BOOM

Because my cherry trees are all blooming,

They will make fine cherries, I am assuming,

I'll have food to eat,

They will be a treat,

I'll guard them with my gun that goes booming.

THE DIRE WOLF AND HIS TROLL

I have a dire wolf, and he bit off my long nose,

It's a good thing I'm a troll, for now a new one grows,

The dire wolf grew whimper, sad,

When I said he had done real bad,

But, while I was sleeping, the wolf nibbled off my toes.

POGOSTICK BREAKER, BEWARE!🐀

Someone broke my pogostick, and J am hooting mad,😡

When I find out who did it, they will be so sad,😭

I'll tell them they smell like feet,👣

I'll tell them to watch the portions they eat,🍔🍟🌮🍕🌮🍠

If my torments hurt their feelings, my emojis will depict, glad.🤗😇😛

WHO HAS THE BLUEST MOON? LIMERICK

Nightly News Blue Moon

My Blue Moon

So, last night's moon was big and blue,

It was still not much worth looking to,

And, for ten minutes of views,

I missed the night news,

Where they showed the moon in a much bluer hue.

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FOOT ODOR IS FAR, FAR AWAY

Someone stuck a lead pencil in my foot, and I did not feel the pain,

Methinks, that is just because my foot flops, about a mile, from my brain,

It started at age sixteen,

When I grew cute, tall and lean,

My feet under me, I can't feel, or see, but smell them, when smells they gain.

HARD TIMES AND TURNIPS

I knew my finances were in trouble, when  I couldn't afford turnips, at the store,

When I can't afford to buy turnips, I know that I've become the poorest of poor,

So, I spade a piece of ground,

Planted turnip seeds, ten pound,

I will have so many turnips to hoard, my greedy, jealous neighbors, will make war.

DOUBLE WIDE SHAKESPEARE

Me and close kin were huddled all together, and starving, half to death,

Then I eyed my next door cousin's food and fine home, and methinks, Macbeth,

The three weird sisters in the double wide,

Predicted fortune, if my cuz died,

They also said, someone born not from woman, would make me draw last breath?