MY EASTER DAY PIZZA LIMERICK

I ordered pizza for dinner on Easter Day,
Topped with boiled eggs, ham and, a chocolate bunny display,
But, it was so sad,
For the boiled eggs had gone bad,
Those that ate pizza, later on they would pay.

DEAR CAMP.TWO (Nature Does That Reckoning Thing)

I went to dear camp and I got a big scare,

My face was chewed off by an old grumpy bear,

I tried running,

But the bear wasn't funning,

He made me a scat pile of bones and red hair.

ROCKO GOT GNAWED

Rocko went swimming and got the parasites,

Drilled into his skin when he turned out the lights,

Boy did they bite,

They gnawed in real tight,

Rocko is known as most hideous of sites.

ELEPHANT BAD PET

I brought home an elephant, but I think I'll take him back,

The first thing he did was tear the walls off of my shack,

Then he knocked down my trees,

Frightened my honey bees,

Then he ate 12 bushels of apples, which for him was just a snack.

CATERER IN THE WOODS

So a backwoods wedding I could caters,

I went out out and dug some taters,

The main dish, squirrels,

Gave the guests bad hurls,

None wanted tater salad, made with eggs from gators.

I AM A SMALL SPIDER

I am a small spider that got washed away,

Now I am stuck on the ground, in the wet clay,

So I'll swim like a duck,

Climb up from the muck,

Build me a web, and there my eggs I will lay.

MONKEY CY, CRY

There once was a little monkey named Cy,

When he smelled a banana, he'd cry,

It reminded him of mommy,

She was accused being commie,

Then whisked off to prison without a "bye".

DEAD POET GARBAGE CROW

The garbage pickup runs real slow,

Why that is, I really don't know,

Number of bears, grow,

Cheered on by a crow,

Or, is it a Raven, like by Edgar Allen Poe.

BENNY BIGFOOT WENT TO A BAR OWNED BY BEARS LIMERICK

Benny bigfoot went to a bar owned by bears,
They did not want to see him, but his roar gave them scares,
After he drank a few brew,
He felt hungry too,
The bear stew was good except for the hairs.

POACHED EGGS WITH LEGS

Dave went out into the woods to poach his self some eggs,

The eggs had baby chicks within, complete with little legs,

That made Dave feel really sad inside,

So, in his hankie he cried and cried,

Dave now steals from chicken coups, when caught, his life he begs.

DAVE POACHED DEER

Dave poached deer in seven counties,

And, on his head there were twelve bounties,

But, Dave saw a need,

He had mouths to feed,

Now, he's been jailed by county Mounties.

AN APRIL FOOL'S PLAN

I suppose I should plan an April Fool's joke,

One not so scary it would make someone croak,

Maybe one big surprise,

A day I tell no one lies,

Yet, perhaps the truth might give someone a stroke. 

THE PROMISES, PROMISES LIMERICK

"Promises, promises" my fiance would say,
She said that to  me almost every day,
Then, she became most annoyed,
When I chose to avoid,
Making promises I wouldn't keep anyway.

A TRUMPETER DOES SIN AND THE FIRST VIOLIN

I played my trumpet, but it was not near in tune,

I got lots of complaints from the conductor, real soon,

I admitted my sin,

Tuned with the first violin,

We fell in love and were married by noon.

I FOOL AND DROOL

Because I did not well in school,

My teachers called me the school fool,

Not a teacher's pet,

I'm a Cub Scout vet,

Lost my front teeth, so I drool.