MONKEYS IN THE COUP

I started raising little monkeys, out in my chicken coup,

The monkeys ate up all my chickens, and turned them into poop,

The monkeys all got free,

They came looking for me,

I think about those monkeys, when I eat monkey noodle soup.

BILLY WEARS A POMPADOUR

Billy wears a pompadour wig, upon his big bald head,

It's his favorite wig to wear, and its died a red, red,

His hair is real poofy,

His mind, very goofy,

Billy bakes the best potty pies, and keeps the family fed.

PLANNING FOR BACON AND FRIENDS

I went outside and saw the great blue sky,

I watched my neighbor's, big, fat piggies fly, 

I hoped one would crash,

Then its body I'd stash,

And have a neighborhood, thick bacon fry.

CATCH ME AFTER I DIRT NAP

I was called a turnip, because I never pay my bills,

You can't get blood out of a turnip, so chew some chill pills,

Paying bills is never my style,

So put me in the past due file,

No use billing me; until I'm in my grave, for a while.

I THINK WE CELEBRATED WITH SAM

I use to have a pony, and his name was Sam,

One day Sam disappeared; the day ma fixed a ham,

It was one glorious beast,

The ham was our Christmas feast,

We all got bloated guts, especially, aunt Pam.

THE SQUIRREL TALE

Jeb and Joey were two squirrels, who lived way up in a tree,

They were very happy sharing their nuts, while watching tv,

But something went real foul,

When along came the owl,

And chewed Joey chunks, fed the owl little babies, during tea.

CHICKEN TASTES LIKE TUNA, AND HAM, I'M NOT SURE YET

I opened a small can that said "Chicken Of The Sea",

It tasted mostly like, some old tuna fish to me,

The taste haunts my puckered mouth,

From up north to the down south,

Next, I'm eating canned ham, but what flavor will that be?

THE LAW AND BEAVER MARGOT

Margot was a busy beaver, and she was busy every day,

Blocking up the Tobacco River, so all the water, it would stay,

After chewing on the trees,

They fell where Margot, did please,

The local sheriff used some dynamite, and the water went away.

IT IS HARD TO GET SKINNY EATING STARCHES AND FAT

Don eats four fruits and a vegetable each day,

Donny keeps his bowels cleared out, that simple way,

French Fries and buttered toast,

Don likes the very most,

Therefore 700 pounds, Don will always weigh.