I AM TWICE REVENANT YES, TWICE BACK FROM THE DEAD

I am twice revenant yes, twice back from the dead,
Back from a vast world where deep passions are fed,
Where love ala-carte,
Re-booted my heart,
Now, back in the world of the alone I must tread.

MY GOLDFISH IS A GOOD PET, NOT!

My goldfish is a nincompoop because poop is all he does,

Except he'll swim to the top of his bowel to eat a piece of fuzz,

I wish for a better pet than he,

For he does not comfort me,

He has no fluffy fur, he cannot pur or, love me just because.

I

BIG FOOTS ATE UP ALL THE BEARS

In Michigan it gives me scares,
Here big foots ate up all the bears,
Now will the big foots come for me,
I'm really tender and I think tasty,

Oh big foot, big foot in the night,
Go away, don't cause me fright,
Now that all the bears are gone,
You keep me awake from dusk till dawn,

Oh mighty big foot please go away,
Birds taste a lot better anyway,
Try eating rabbit or maybe deer,
I taste like veggies and smell like beer.

OCTOBER FULL MOON

The October full moon gives Sam a shaking scare,

Sam fears a monster or zombie, instead of just a mean bear,

Sam can't go to sleep,

When Sam's heart races, beep beep,

And, urine-sweat has wet down Sam's long hair.

I'M COMING UNHINGED AS I WALK WITH THE DEAD

Sometimes I'm feeling so cold,

And, up my legs is creeping green mold,

I'm not living they said,

Because I walk with the dead,

Eating the flesh of the young and the old,

So, how did I get in this place?

I got bit by my friend, Robert Ace,

Then, the infection got bad,

Soon I died, it's so sad,

I tried to sue but, no one took my case,

I won't wander for an eternity,

Because my flesh, it rots off of me,

After I've human flesh binged,

My bones will become all unhinged,

And, their nutrients will feed some old tree.

THE AFTERLIFE LIMERICK

Into the dirt or the fires in death we remorse,
To the worms or the ashes, what is our recourse,
Either a worm feces we become,
Or, an old tin urn we pour from,  
Finally, we return to the piles of our source.

CREAM SODA MOON PIES HAIKU

Cream soda, moon pies,
Nutritional? Summer snack,
Lazy days and me.

BIFF THE SNOWMAN WAS KIND OF NUTS

Biff the snowman was kind of nuts they say,
He’d bug people and wouldn’t go away,
If he saw you were busy,
He’d talk you into a big tizzy,
I can hardly wait until it warms up in May.

FIREWOOD, WHAT A STEAL

I found some firewood,

It was in a condition that was good,

So, I loaded what I could,

Ate lunch; an orange and pud,

Then drove back to my own hood.

I'M PAYING BILLS ONLINE LIMERICK

Online bill paying has brought me great terror,
For my screen keeps flashing a red "error,"
My bills are all due,
At midnight I'm through,
Late fee e-mails are a real bad news bearer. 

FISH PUDDING PIE

For dessert I made fish pudding pie,
It was so bad that it made everyone die,
Then, when we all met on the other side,
My diners didn't let my cooking slide,
And, walked away without saying goodbye.

I IMAGINE A SUNDAY DINNER

It was a spectacular meal,

Especially good was the veal,

The potatoes were so tender,

My taste buds had to surrender,

Extra cake, I just had to steal.