MY SKUNK NAMED AMADEUS

My gal and I had a skunk named Amadeus,
Whenever he’d see us he couldn’t help but to spray us,
We did nothing at all wrong,
To get a taste of his smelly bong,
Our pet skunk through our lives into chaos.

DONNY'S BAKING WAS SO BAD

Donny's Christmas cookies tasted like a toilet that would not flush,

Donny said that all complainers should just shut their traps and hush,

Donny made a Christmas cake,

That made all bellies really ache,

Donny said his bad baking was because he had to rush.

THE FURNACE

My furnace does not keep me warm,
It dies when there is a snow storm,
It's not so fun,
When your heater don't run,
And, on your nose the icicles form.

OPEN BEDROOM WINDOW IN WINTER

My bedroom window was left open all day,

The winter snows poured inward that way,

So, with two feet of snow,

My bedroom was no place to go,

The couch near the fireplace was a nice stay.

ALIENS RE-FABRICATED MY BRAINS

There was a pair of alien probes,

They attached themselves to my earlobes

Then, they re-fabricated my brain,

Leaving me legally insane,

While they hung as just plain silver globes.

DONNY SEEKS JOY BY EVIL DEEDS

Donny wanted all the toys,

So, he bullied all the girls and boys,

And, if a kid said no deal,

Donny simply would steal

Evil deeds were Donny's great joys.

DONNY DAZE

Donny loved to gather money,

It was the only way he could find a honey,

For, he had no hair,

Bad underwear,

And, down his leg dripped something runny.

DONNY AND HIS COUNTERFEIT DREAM

While counterfeiting or, dollar making,

Donny dreamed of trips he thought worth taking,

And, the cars and mansions he'd buy,

With his dollars that lie,

But, when the cops came Donny was shaking.

MY JERKY CHRISTMAS DINNER

My little pet bear ate my Christmas ham, without shame,

I left the smokehouse door open so, I guess I'm to blame,

Now, Christmas dinner will feature jerky,

Made from leftover Thanksgiving turkey,

And, the last time I served jerky nobody came,