WHAT KILLED THE BLOODSUCKER?

What killed the bloodsucker I found on my arm?

What's in my blood that did this fella harm?

Was it the 10-year-old champagne?

Or, the 12-year-old candy cane?

My blood is toxic so, I feel some alarm.

FARM DATES

I ate fruits and veggies and bloated up really big,

I caught the eye of farm animals like the cow and the pig,

I told them I would not date,

I already had a mate,

I'm a trucker and I married my rig.

THE GAS GIANT PART III

I finally caught up with the gas giant near Orion's Belt,

He had been cloning raisins then, he started to smuggle felt, 

In the thirty-fifth century felt is very rare,

Anyone who controls the market could treat people most unfair,

I've promised all the giant's victims a piece of his cankered pelt.

OLD MURPHY LONGED FOR HOME ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Old Murphy thought of his home in Cork far, far away,

As he always did after the Ides of March on St. Patrick's Day,

Although in Murphy's grave his flesh did melt,

Beside his wife, the pretty Celt,

He longed for the place his ancestor's dwelt,

Where his heart would forever stay.  

PURSUIT OF THE GAS GIANT II

I am hunting down the gas giant for crimes that he's committed,

In every galaxy he's passed through the police he has outwitted,

The giant doesn't need a spacecraft for lightspeed to pass,

Lightspeed he achieves by release of noxious gas,

Warning:  if you breathe his molecules you'll soon be deemed dimwitted.