HORSEY DORSEY ON TWITTER

Horsey Dorsey had four feet,

Horsey Dorsey liked to tweet,

When his hooves would quickly pound,

He made a galloping hoof sound,

Unless he had music, then he'd pound to the beat.

TOWING

I had a tow truck and I went out towing,

But I could not see where I was going,

Then there was a pitch,

And I flipped into the ditch,

Now the grass over my grave, they keep mowing.

WINTER WOED ME GOOD

It is the winter of my woe,

It got so cold I froze my toe,

Can't pay for heat, I'm out of doe,

The roof caved in because of snow,

I'm burning books, so heat I'll know.

IF I REALLY LIKED THE SNOW

If I really liked the snow,

Then today, outside I'd go,

I'd make snow angels, and make wings grow,

I'd build a fort; give enemies woe,

I'd cannon snowballs at sister, foe.

GROUND HOG HYGIENE

My ground hog felt he'd gain friends and power,

By smelling better after a shower,

Instead of shampoo, he grabbed bleach,

It was a moment to teach,

He smells like a gym pool, instead of a flower.

MY LITTLE GROUNDHOG HAD A BAD DAY

My little groundhog had a bad day,

It snowed so he could not go out and play,

Then his computer was broke,

When he spilled on it his Coke,

Maybe tomorrow things will be breaking his way.

MICHIGAN PSYCHO TEMPERATURES

The Michigan winters are dry ice cold,🌬🌨❄😱

For a bit of heat all souls are sold,🔥😥👹

Now, summers are oppressive hot,🌡☀🌶

People boil like onions in a pot,🍲

Their skins peel back and smell good, not!👃🚽🚬

IN THE DEER-WOODS I SET UP A TENT

In the deer-woods I set up a tent,
I set up a wood-stove and piped out a vent,
Heat was my desire,
But, my whole tent caught fire,
So, out to the cold woods I went.

THE CARPET AND THE TREE

My little doggie, he got free,

And on the carpet took a pee,

Right there for everyone to see,

Darker than the spilled coffee,

I hope he doesn't kill my tree.

THE GRIZZ AND THE GROUND HOG

I went looking for a ground hog, to see when the winter might pass,

I ran into a griz instead, and he ate off half my mass,

The cold froze shut my wound with snow,

To the hospital I crawled to go,

And, I would have made it, 'cept my bod ran out of gas.

I HOPE TO HECK MY PARSNIPS GROW LIMERICK

I hope to heck my parsnips grow, 
Deep beneath the piled up snow, 
In the winter I'll eat, 
Starvation I'll beat, 
If I remember where I planted the row.

TERMINATION REPORT

They laid me off for the holiday,

Said they might hire me back come next May,

Why I was fired nobody would say,

Of course, I call in sick every Monday,

Monday mornings are cold, so in bed I stay.

MY SANDWICH WAS SOGGY AND SWEET

My sandwich was not very neat,
I had no money so I couldn't afford meat,
But  I had some grape juice,
So on my bread I let loose,
And  my sandwich was soggy and sweet.

THE SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM QUESTION

I love to eat scoops of ice cream atop a sugar cone,
But, every scoop of ice cream adds size round my hip bone,
So, how many scoops of ice cream is deemed to be just right?
Well, I simply eat scoops of ice cream until my jeans get way too tight.