DUMPSTER DIVING FOR FOOD? I EAT IN THE BAR

I walked into a bar serving free, salty popcorn, but nothing else to eat,

The free popcorn was served to all embalmed patrons, so they could drive down the street,

I didn't buy a single drink,

But, I acted drunk as stink,

Nice dinner; the salty popcorn tasted much better than any dumpster meat.

WHEN IT COMES TO SEPTIC TANKS, I'M THE LAW

I signed up to run for politics, but the voters did not like me much,

They said my ideas were crazy, and with working folk, I was out of touch,

I still won the big election,

To do septic tank inspection,

I was the only candidate for Septic Inspector, a lawman, as such.

BIG BUCK, SON OF THE DEER HUNTER

In my previous life, I was a big, buck deer,

I would run through the big, spruce forest, full of fear,

A hunter shot me,

And, food I did be,

Now, I'm the Hunter's son, and deer season is near.

HALLOWEEN EGGS

 My teacher, the incredible, Mr. Bells,

Teaches hypnosis, conjuring and spells,

He turned me into a pheasant,

That was not very pleasant,

I laid chocolate eggs, filled with red jells.

RED LIKES A COLD BED

There was a red planet, way, way up in the sky,

By the blue planet, sometimes it made a flyby,

It didn't stay there too long,

Because blue had it wrong,

Further out from the sun was the best place to lie.

IMPORTED BEER AND HOMEGROWN DAISIES

I grow monster daisies in the valley,

I feed them to a giant named, Sally,

Sally, also wants beer,

I cannot make beer here,

I import it through my friend, Dilly Dally.

MY BROTHER IS A COMPETITOR, PREDATOR, FOR FOOD.

I would be happy, eating many more good meals,

But, my older brother, he sees food, then he steals,

I store food in plastic bags,

Then slap on ownership tags,

My big brother, does not care, he does what he feels.

Predator.