JIMMY TOOK CLASSES IN TRIG

Jimmy took classes in theoretical trig,
He wanted to build a space/time rig,
He wanted to go fast,
Deep into the past,
Where his knowledge would go over big.

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MY TIME MACHINE BROKE DOWN II

My time machine broke down back in Ancient Rome,
I met Nero Czar and he was a weird little gnome,
He'd sit out in his flower garden,
Passing gas and saying "pardon",
Then, he'd spout some idiotic poem.

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I TIME TRAVELED OFF TO A NICER PLACE

I time traveled off to a nicer place,
In my 1974 Matador Sedan,
There was no pressure; there was no rat race,
You just took life as you could and can,

I time traveled off to a nicer place,
But, alas I could not stay,
For reality like my sedan has no brakes,
To stop I’ll cross my fingers and pray.

TIME TRAVEL IS NOT SAFE LIMERICK

My time machine got stuck,
In 1863 in old Kentuck,
Between the Rebs and the Yanks,
They were firing on all flanks,
I was a tachyon master, all out of luck.

MY TIME MACHINE BROKE DOWN

My time machine broke down in the late middle ages,

That was the most backward of human historical stages,

They over used the word "hath",

And, no one at all took a bath,

So, they all stunk be they kings, squires or pages.