A BUG IN MY DILLS

I bought a can of dill pickles from an online superstore,

I received my can of dill pickles, in it is something more,

It has six legs,

Legs straight like pegs,

The thing looks like the cockroach I see, crawling across my floor. 

THE BUG SLURPER

Leonardo the squirrel, ate bugs, never nuts,

Leo didn't like the chewing, he'd rather slurp guts,

And the tastiest slurps,

Came from bugs that had chirps,

Leo avoided bugs that had bad smelling butts.

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BILLY AND THE B

Billy was out swinging beneath an old tree,

He swung so high he got stung by a bad bee,

He gave a bee nest a tap,

The nest fell on Billy's lap,

He's in ICU; I can't get in to see.

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COCKROACH SUPERSIZED

I find a stinky cockroach in my clothes,

The more I spray him, the bigger he grows,

I go get a net,

He grows bigger, yet,

We're standing eye to eye, and toe to toes.

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BILLY'S BEETLE DUNG

Billy's cute little beetle ran away,

Billy has dung, but the beetle wouldn't stay,

Billy's dung,

Is far flung,

How far can a beetle run in a day?

TOO SOON FOR ITCHY SKIN

I got bit by three gigantic skeeters today,

It's March; skeeters shouldn't be out until late in May,

Now, I am all itchy,

My tude has been witchy,

I need itch ointment, or I'll scratch my skin away.

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THE BIG PEEPER BUGS

I woke up from the world of nighttime sleepers,

Just to see several dozen tiny creepers,

They were a green bug,

That crawled out of my rug,

They looked up at my face, with cute, big, black peepers.

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ON TIGERS, PANTS, AND GINGER

Benny got ginger on his pants,

The favorite food of tiger ants,

Poor Benny, my mate,

Got completely ate,

That's why, on Twitter, I rants.

THE BEDBUG LIMERICK,HAIKU AND, POEM

BEDBUG LIMERICK
Jason found some bed bugs that were sucking on his knee,
He picked them off one at a time and let each bug go free,
George visited Jason at his house,
George brought bugs home to his spouse,
Bed bugs suck anyone’s blood and spread real easily.

BEDBUG HAIKU
Bedbugs bad suck blood,
Burn the cloths. Burn the beds too,
Nature’s nastiest.

BEDBUG POEM
You’ve never lived through a terrifying storm,
Until you’ve lived to watch the bedbugs swarm,
They race towards you because your blood is warm,
This is the lot you’ll face in a college dorm,

Bedbugs drink your blood and could not be meaner,
As your blood flows out you will become leaner,
Their bloodsucking jaws could not look obscener,
You just wish your roommate had been a bit cleaner,

Bedbugs, bedbugs in the very dark of night,
Causing all this mayhem and excessive fright,
As to your new digs just you don’t get too tight,
Cause we’re bringing them down with homemade dynamite.

P08222021

THE DEADLY DEE DEES

When the deadly dee dees come out at night,

They only want to make a bite,

They'll bite your toes,

They'll bite your nose,

They'll bite your skin, where pajamas are tight.

WINTER HONEY IS THE BEES KNEES

I saw some weird little winter bees,

They had their own little toboggans, and their own skies,

They might look funny,

But they make tommy honey,

Tasting best after the honeycomb freeze.

LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR

My neighbor weaponized my shovel, and attacked some small ants,

The ants were little red biters, and ran up my neighbor's pants,

Like a bloody, daft fool,

He jumped into my pool,

After my neighbor's rescue, I lectured him on cans and can'ts.  

GOURD OF THE EYES

I bought a big gourd for the holidays, it was full of guys,

They were ugly, little gnarly bugs, with great big bulging eyes,

The bugs attacked, and devoured me,

Except in my brain, they raised larvae,

Hoping their baby gnarly bugs, would eat brains and turn out wise. 

CHEMICALS GOT THE BUGS OUT OF MY TEA

Timmy found some bedbugs, drifting in his cup of tea,

One started swimming, and Timmy threw his tea at me,

In the furniture, clothing and rugs,

My home was full of them bitting bugs,

I hired an exterminator, now I'm bedbug free.

THE PHAMPHLETEERS

They hand out Pamphlets all day and all night,

About finding bedbugs, and treating their bite,

The greatest bedbug fears,

Are those brave phamfleteers,

That's why bedbugs keep hiding, just out of sight.

WOODENPECKERS AND TERMITES

I found a pile of termite turds,

I was quite unnerved, a loss for words,

I used some termite spray,

Termites, went went away,

Now, I'm troubled by peckerwood birds.

TERMITES EAT DAIRY CHEESE

I find that dairy cheese tastes extremely, very good,

Cheese tastes much, much better, than any kind of chewy wood,

And, I'm a cruel termite,

I turn nice homes into blight,

But, with a daily gift of cheddar; I'll skip your neighborhood.

BEES IN THE BUNKER FREEZE BRAINS

I was down in the bunker, and was attacked by three bees,

One flew in my ear, the others attacked my weak knees,

I fell to the floor, 

And what is worse, more,

The bee bite in my ear gave me a brain freeze.

WASPS DON'T THINK SIN, WHEN THEIR PEELING SKIN

Giant wasps are on their way, to peel away our human skins,

Each wasp delights in our screams, while they make those bug face grins,

Big shots say the bugs will freeze,

It don't help us, that hope filled tease,

I think we should be setting traps; maybe use some tuna tins..

There's Always Something Out To Get Me

I had a mosquito contact,

It gave me a a malaria contract,

Felt very sick,

Went to hospital, real quick,

Malaria is spreading, fun fact? Not!