PODCASTING DULL

Alden did a Tuesday podcast on making a nice, lemon tea,

He thought he would get a million watchers, but all he got was me,

I had to scoff,

I turned it off,

In comments, I said to make better tea, add honey from a bee.

NEIGHBORS CAME TO DINNER

My pot of stew fell off the counter, and spread all sloppy across the floor,

Then an invading army of cockroaches, came in under the front door,

Sweep, Sweep, zoom, zoom,

I used the broom,

I could not stop the cockroaches, because they kept on coming, more, more, more.

BEETLE AND THE J

I had a pet beetle, but he ran quickly away

He was caught and eaten by an old frazzled blue jay,

At the end of his beak,

The blue jay had a leak,

The guts of my beetle, dripped out of the  jay that day.

INFESTATION WITH DIGNITY

I sued for peace the mean, itchy, hungry head lice,

My last offer gave to them, a real good entice,

So that I can get some sleep,

And my crap job I can keep,

They'll eat my scalp all day, at night they must be nice.

FRUIT FLIES

In my home, the fruit flies found caves where they could sleep,

The caves were my nostrils, I blew out a huge heap,

The fruit flies flew away,

 Until later that day,

I found fruit flies in my eye ducts, and I did weep.

MOSQUITOS BE WARNED

Because my house had loads of mice and rats,

I decided to get myself some cats,

They ate the mice today,

Frightened the rats away,

To deal with mosquitos, I'm getting bats.

LIVING IN MICHIGAN IS A BUGGER

I live in Michigan, we have zillions of bugs

They eat into your eyeballs, you share them, with hugs,

Bugs poop on your pans and dishes,

They attack your cute goldfishes,

You'!l even drink a few, in your rootbeer chug-a-lugs. 

WHY I HIT MYSELF SO HARD, MY BRAIN AIN'T RIGHT.

In the latest, late of dark night,

From an earwig, I got a bite,

The evil dear,

Was in my ear,

I slapped my ear, with all my might.

ATTACK OF THE GARDEN PESTS

My lettuce was all covered with nasty, slimy slugs,

My tomatoes were hollowed by chewing beetle bogs, 

My pickles in the weeds,

The birds picked clean of seeds,

And the mice that nibbled my string beans, are common thugs.

I DIES BECAUSE OF BEADY BUG EYES

100 billion, billion beady eyes, were staring up at me,

That was the ugliest bug I ever saw, sitting on my knee,

Then, he spit into my mouth,

After that, things went south,

For his spit was deadly poisonous; my ashes were dumped at sea.

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CHEMICALS GOT THE BUGS OUT OF MY TEA

Timmy found some bedbugs, drifting in his cup of tea,

One started swimming, and Timmy threw his tea at me,

In the furniture, clothing and rugs,

My home was full of them bitting bugs,

I hired an exterminator, now I'm bedbug free.

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A BUG IN MY DILLS

I bought a can of dill pickles from an online superstore,

I received my can of dill pickles, in it is something more,

It has six legs,

Legs straight like pegs,

The thing looks like the cockroach I see, crawling across my floor. 

THE BUG SLURPER

Leonardo the squirrel, ate bugs, never nuts,

Leo didn't like the chewing, he'd rather slurp guts,

And the tastiest slurps,

Came from bugs that had chirps,

Leo avoided bugs that had bad smelling butts.

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BILLY AND THE B

Billy was out swinging beneath an old tree,

He swung so high he got stung by a bad bee,

He gave a bee nest a tap,

The nest fell on Billy's lap,

He's in ICU; I can't get in to see.

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COCKROACH SUPERSIZED

I find a stinky cockroach in my clothes,

The more I spray him, the bigger he grows,

I go get a net,

He grows bigger, yet,

We're standing eye to eye, and toe to toes.

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BILLY'S BEETLE DUNG

Billy's cute little beetle ran away,

Billy has dung, but the beetle wouldn't stay,

Billy's dung,

Is far flung,

How far can a beetle run in a day?

TOO SOON FOR ITCHY SKIN

I got bit by three gigantic skeeters today,

It's March; skeeters shouldn't be out until late in May,

Now, I am all itchy,

My tude has been witchy,

I need itch ointment, or I'll scratch my skin away.

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THE BIG PEEPER BUGS

I woke up from the world of nighttime sleepers,

Just to see several dozen tiny creepers,

They were a green bug,

That crawled out of my rug,

They looked up at my face, with cute, big, black peepers.

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ON TIGERS, PANTS, AND GINGER

Benny got ginger on his pants,

The favorite food of tiger ants,

Poor Benny, my mate,

Got completely ate,

That's why, on Twitter, I rants.

THE BEDBUG LIMERICK,HAIKU AND, POEM

BEDBUG LIMERICK
Jason found some bed bugs that were sucking on his knee,
He picked them off one at a time and let each bug go free,
George visited Jason at his house,
George brought bugs home to his spouse,
Bed bugs suck anyone’s blood and spread real easily.

BEDBUG HAIKU
Bedbugs bad suck blood,
Burn the cloths. Burn the beds too,
Nature’s nastiest.

BEDBUG POEM
You’ve never lived through a terrifying storm,
Until you’ve lived to watch the bedbugs swarm,
They race towards you because your blood is warm,
This is the lot you’ll face in a college dorm,

Bedbugs drink your blood and could not be meaner,
As your blood flows out you will become leaner,
Their bloodsucking jaws could not look obscener,
You just wish your roommate had been a bit cleaner,

Bedbugs, bedbugs in the very dark of night,
Causing all this mayhem and excessive fright,
As to your new digs just you don’t get too tight,
Cause we’re bringing them down with homemade dynamite.

P08222021