SOUPY EGGS IN THE SHELL

I bought fresh, farm eggs, but they were soupy,

That made the family, tense and poopy,

The soupy eggs were quite tainted,

The porcelain, got brown painted,

The bathroom rugs were sticky and goopy.  

SECOND WORLD

I went downhill skiing, and ran into a tree,

I was dead on the scene, and they couldn't revive me,

While I drifted into the sky,

I waved to my body, goodbye,

Then I smelled dad's dark coffee, and mom's ginger tea.

TRINA, TRIP, REPEAT

Trina tried to Rat Dance, but mixed up her two, small feet,

Then Trina fell, hard down, and got bruises on her seat,

Trina shed a tiny tear,

Then she tried again, the dear,

This time people really laughed, at Trina's trip repeat.

WHEN THE MOON HIDES

When the great, full moon disappears, the great spirits, get all, jolly,

Those venturing out that night, often find that venture, folly,

Monsters dance over hills,

Ghouls eat flesh for thrills,

Cruel ghosts, inhabit hosts, like a toy train, Teddy bear, or dolly.

THE IDES OF MARCH WARNING

The approaching Ides of March, foretell the warning,

Be alive at midnight, yet cold dead by morning,

Or, alive at this noon,

Dead by the risen moon,

And, a padded box you soon, will be adorning.

   

THE BLOOD WORM MOON OF MARCH

My family doctor really likes the blood worm, in the moon of March,

He also said blood worms are tricky, if you eat a lot of starch,

Starch super feeds blood worm babies,

No studies allow for maybes,

Then the only way to kill them, is saltwater that makes them parch.

A SQUAT GUIDE FOR THE UNEMPLOYED

The economy is as repulsive as gray, boogered snot,15

With no money for rent, I find vacant homes, for a quick squat,14

Sometimes, there is a find of some food,

For humans, cats or dogs, I'm not rude,

Sometimes I find a real classy place, like one with a Roombot.

OUR DATE: ONLY TWO

I made some special, chicken fondue,

I only had enough, just for two,

But, you wanted more,

So, I tripped to the store,

When I got back, you had left, boohoo.  

THE TOAD LEGACY

There were nine, tiny, squishy, tree toads,

The toads dropped nine massive, fecal loads,

The fecal, super powers,

Grew colored, bright, big flowers,

The toads were tire kill, on the roads.

 

THE PODCAST SALES LIMERICK

There once was a podcaster, and his name was Hot Stew,

Hot Stew started podcasting, to have something to do,

He made dollars in millions,

Then came all of Stew's billions,

Online he sold enemas, both refurbished and new.

DEALING WITH MY FINANCIAL CRASH

All financial schemes are doing a crumble,

While all of my stocks, tumble, tumble, tumble,

I'm vacating, the here,

Gonna drink some root beer,

And, hide, covered in my bed, feeling humble.

EDDY BITES TEDDY

I had this big pest, his name was Eddy,

He was a rat, and he pested steady,

Every night,

He'd take a bite,

Out of my sweet, pink, stuffed bear, my Teddy.

THE DAY THE ROOT BEER STOPED

I foretold that the end of the world was near,

During my lunch, when I ran out of sweet, root beer,

The internets are now trending,

Predicting all things are ending,

 I only have cola, and it don't quench my fear.

THE HUNTING TIGER IN THE SNOW

My Tiger is a kitty cat,
But, that he does not know,
He thinks he is a hunting beast,
So, I let him go out hunting  in the snow,

Alas, Tiger did not do so well,
Out hunting in the snow,
He ended up back at my front door,
Inside he wanted to go,

I let indoors my shivering pet,
He ran to his bowl, a well filled dish,
After that he took a nap,
My hunting Tiger full of tuna fish.

PP04172023

THE OLD PEOPLE DREAM, AND THE REAL

I dream of eating a whole stick of rich butter,

Once I can afford to move, from this pee gutter,

But, there's no jobs about,

For this geezer with gout,

Last time I fell down, it left me with a stutter.

MILK+ MEOW+MOLE=KITTIES.

Dominick had a really pretty milk cow,

She made lots of milk for Dom's cat named, Meow,

Meow shared her milk bowl,

With her tom cat named, Mole,

Soon there were six kittens, and Dom knew not how.

MORNING OFFICE TREATS

Apple Fritters Monday is how the usual morning, work week starts,

Apple fritters are sweet and greasy, full of sour, fruity tart, tarts,

Fritters are an office win,

But seen as a fat, flab sin,

I like Peanut Brittle Tuesdays, but the brittle yields many farts.

CONSUMING CORN WITH FRIENDS

Four dudes, sitting by some flames at the beach, were eating sweet corn,

After fire toasting, they used butter and salt, to adorn,

It was corn stuck on cobs,

Drippings made all dudes slobs,

They went back to their town lives, where the next working day is born.

KIMMYCOSS GOES TO JAIL

I built me a domestic robot, and named it, Kimmycoss,  

One day it turned on me, and pinched me, and it became my boss,

It demanded eggs each meal,

None in the store, so I steal,

When cops stoped by to arrest me, Kimmy gave the cops a toss.

MY TINY INCOME, MY TINY FARM, MY TINY LIFESPAN

The government has ordered me, to start subsistence farming,

There's little food in the stores, and tiny farming is charming,

I would like to completely pass,

But, I'm the sinking, worker class,

If I work until I'm dead, who important is it harming?

SPRING FORWARD TIME TRAVEL 👎

I dislike it when the Spring clock gets moved forward, one hour,

It clearly disrupts my time traveler super power,

It hurts my quantum brain,

My thoughts drift to insane,

Now, we're all fighting, over our a.m. scheduled shower.

DOOMSCROLLING CLICKBAIT UNTIL DOOM

I waste all my days, and all my nights, doomscrolling clickbait,

I especially watch clickbait, full of iconic hate,

This life will not last,

It light beams by fast,

Why am I web watching anger, when there's sun downs to rate.