BUGS FOR BREAKFAST (Breakfast of Trampions)

On my heart my tummy tugs,

I was so hungry, I ate bugs,

But, a tummy that begs,

Shouldn't eat bugs with long legs,

I got hospitalized and some hugs.

WHY BOTHER WITH FLOWERS

All my flowers just died in their rows,

Every time I'm done planting it freezes and snows,

Of course, the freezing will be done,

By the August last Sun,

Alas, by the Ides of September the frosty wind  blows.

NOBODY TELLS ME

Nobody told me electricity can arc,

Or, that a dog will bite before giving a bark,

Nobody told me I could drown in deep water,

Or, boil my brains in a bath I made hotter,

Or, I should turn on my lights when I drive after dark.

PEACH TREE THROUGH THE FLOOR

My porch had a peach tree growing up through the boards,

I couldn't cut it down with my machete swords,

For the peaches were sweet,

And, I had no money to eat,

At times providence has it's own rewards.

5721

JIM WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING ON THE 9TH OF MAY

Jim went trick-or-treating, 
On the 9th of May,
He didn't get any candy,
But, he got a 90 day jail stay,

It was not very funny,
When the neighbors called the cops,
Because Jim was dressed like a Playboy Bunny,
And, his breath just wreaked with hops,

The judge didn't care that it was all for candy,
Instead, he just slowly shook his head,
He said Jim was a real "Jim Dandy,"
And, in county lock-up he'd make his bed,

The days each passed like they were years,
And, Jim yearned for candy more and more,
But, the next time he wouldn't trick-or-treat,
Deciding, he'd just take it from a store.

SPIT-PLAY WITH FOUR

They put phlegm in my coffee so, I could not stay,

If you spit in my coffee, I go away,

The waiter was a jerk,

And, I was so late for work,

At four, I'm out of work and we'll continue our play.

MY GUPPY NAMED JERRY I FOUND ON THE FLOOR LIMERICK

My guppy named Jerry I found on the floor,
He had been there for a day or, two maybe more,
I scraped up his dried remains,
And, it gave me such great pains,
As I flushed him down the toilet with a roar.