MEDIEVAL EVIL MONSTER

There was a Griffin sitting up in an ash tree,

His laser sharp talons, sliced both arms off of me,

He bit off my head,

Thought then, I was dead,

I decomposed, until there was nothing to see.

I'M NOT READY FOR WINTER

The cold winter wind blows, then repeats,

It's winter, and I have no blankets or sheets,

Deliveries are at a stop,

Even for my dear, soda pop,

And of course, I need a new furnace that heats.

RICH AND POOR: THE DOUGH GLAZER STORY

I sold glazed donuts in my own glazed donut store,

I became filthy rich, and then went dirty poor,

A cave in of my dwelling,

Caused donuts to stop selling,

I had no insurance, so I could not restore.

MOON MONSTER PUTS ASTRONAUT ON HIATUS, FOREVER

I walked all the way to Tranquility Base,

There, a mean moon monster got into my face,

Feeling real tough that day,

I told him to run away,

It's ten years since I vanished, without a trace.

STUPID TIME TRAVELER IRONY

Because its hull is made of the cheapest tin,

My quantum time machine, broke down, once again,

A small puncture makes woe,

My machine just won't go,

I won't make the reservation, for my din.

HANNIBAL IN THE HAY

Once upon a time, there was a pig, named Hannibal,

He liked eating bacon, and was called a cannibal,

On one nice, sunny, fine day,

He fell asleep in the hay,

He was then ate raw by a human, called Animal.

THE WHIMSICAL LIFE CYCLE OF BELL FISH

Bell fish are swimming and mating, way out in the bay,

They go ding and they go dong, and they ding dong all day,

Baby bell fish are chimes,

They tinkle many times,

But, those poor baby bell fish, are food for the blue jay

UNCLE LEE IN THE HOOD

Uncle Lee worked on a garbage truck, and picked up garbage all day long,

While Uncle Lee picked all the garbage up, he would always sing a song,

The hood leaders did complain,

Lee's voice brought their ears great pain,

Uncle Lee stoped his singing, but thought the hood leaders, were mean and wrong.

BAD DADDY AND THE PSYCHIC

I went to the local psychic, and what did she say?

She said to move my family, far across the bay,

I did just what she said,

My family has fled,

Then I moved in with the psychic, and that's where I stay.

DENNY AND THE CHAMBER POT SAGA

Denny had a chamber pot, made of porcelain as white as snow,

Every place  that porcelain pot sat,  Denny was sure to go,

When the bedroom chambers smelled of rot

A maid would empty the porcelain pot,

Then Denny would fill it up again, when Denny felt the flow.

I WENT TO SUGAR HIGH, ON HALLOWEEN

It lasted only a day and a night, late, last October,

It was all Halloween, and I dressed like my dog named, Rover,

On my tv screen,

Jason chased a teen,

Today I came off my super, sugar high, and

 I'm sober.

THE CHAIR AND TABLE LIMERICK

By my dining table, I have a chair for my seat,

On top of the dining table, I nothing to eat,

Where I bought my table and chair,

I spent all of my money there,

I do have a soda pop, so at least I'll have a treat

American Cuisine, On The Road

I went out to scrape pavement, because I was hungry for sup,

Didn't know if the critter was a weasel, or someone's stray pup,

Too small for a bear,

Really, did not care,

Figured it would taste good mixed with noodles, and served in a cup.

THE CHOIR WITH THE BIG BANG

Benny sang soloist in a choir gang,

Benny ate too many beans, before he sang,

As Benny's britches rang and rang,

The choir master said, "Oh, dang",

Benny's solo ended, with a great big "Bang!".

THAT WICKED WITCH CAST A SPELL ON ME

My meanie wife was a little witch, and a little witch she was,

She cast spells on everyone, and her reason was just because,

She turned my kinfolk into toads,

They all got run over, on the roads,

Just because I crashed the car last last night, she siced on me the fuzz.

EASY PEASY ROCKET SCIENCE

I'm locked in on taking a college, online test,

It's on rocket science, where my brain works the best,

I know the formulas for down and up,

I'll be done with the test, before I sup,

Then, I will play Mario, and lock in some rest.

SPARKY THE DOG

Sparky is my sweetie dog,

In my shoes he leaves his log,

I told Sparky he was  bad,

His eyes got really big, sad,

That's the end of this dog blog.

The Sunfish And My Eye

There was this little sunfish, I tried to deep fat fry,

Then a grease spatter popped, taking out my one good eye,

In my bad eye I see fizzy,

Many bubbles that are busy,

The ambulance picked me up, and I went bye, bye, bye.

I SKIPPED

I fell toward the wood floor when I slipped,

My shirt caught on a nail and it ripped,

My landing was hard,

It caught me off guard,

So, the rest of my day I just skipped

FRESH FISH STEW FROM THE LAKE OF BLUE

The little creature floating in my stew,

I caught in the lake that was colored blue,

I bopped his head, so he would not come to,

If he did, this day he would come to rue,

He smelled like a fish, and tasted like poo.