CARMEN THE OCTOPUS LIMERICK

Carmen the octopus was no longer charmed,
She was attacked by a shark, and then was disarmed,
But, she got it together,
Her loss of limbs didn't upset her,
She grew new ones, and appeared quite unharmed.🐙

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BARK NO DOG, LAMP NO LIGHT, BUG BITE

My lamp, it just wouldn't light,
I changed the bulb, but still not bright,
So I sat in the dark, 
With a dog who wouldn't bark,
And, bugs that did nothing but bite.

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DELETE THE STINKY PROSE

I wrote some real stinky prose,
It was so bad it stuffed up my nose,
So, I punched my keyboards delete,
The lines vanished, complete,
They are gone where all stinky prose goes.

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WHEN I MET AN AMOEBA MONSTER LIMERICK

I had a really bad, bad fright,
It was a weird monster I met one night,
It was a green Amoeba,
It's name was Reba,
I think my eyeballs weren't screwed in right. 

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HOW TO MAKE A CAMPFIRE LIMERICK

I chipped some flint to make some fire,

I made a few sparks, but my arms started to tire,

So, I took out a match,

Struck a flame that would catch,

I chose the easy way, and left the hard way to admire.

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I WENT FISHING ON THE FORTH OF JULY

I went fishing on the Forth Of July,
I forgot my bobber, so I fished with a fly,
I didn't catch a bass hog,
Just a floating pine log,
With a branch that stuck me in my right eye.

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WASH AWAY MAN

I forded the river, but fell in the stream,
As I washed away I let out a scream,
My scream did not bring me luck,
I scraped through rocks, sticks and muck,
Still, I managed to stay pretty clean.

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MY PET BAT PICKED BAD FRIENDS

My pet bat is loaded with lice,

He hangs out too much with field mice,

Having really bad friends,

Has led my bat to bad ends,

So, before making new friends he'll think twice.

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THE MICHIGAN OMNIVORE

In Michigan, for a meal to score,
You must become an omnivore,
With finances unkind,
You eat what you find,
On the dirt, the bush, or the floor.

IN THE SHALLOWS THERE BE TURTLES

Four little fish were having such fun,
Swimming beneath the bright morning sun,
They swam in the shallows,
Which turned into a gallows,
The turtles ate every single one.

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THE TONE OF THE TOOTER

My tooter tooted a terrible tone,
The audience responded by giving my tooter the stone,
They showed what they meant,
When every stone made a dent,
My tooter's tone I'm needing to hone.

THE CURRENCY OF OUTER SPACE

I hitched a ride to Mars,

It cost me 6 cigars,

I couldn't take my pets,

That cost cigarettes,

And, I'm saving those smokes for the stars. 

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MR. MARTIN HAD NO TICKER

Mr. Martin had no ticker,
His doctors wondered why, he was not sicker,
Martin swam in the bay,
Ate smoked bacon all day,
At night he drank beer and would bicker.

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GETTING REAL AND THE FLAGPOLE

My old burn barrel got way out of control,

Burning the woods down was never my real goal,

Bigfoot got real mad,

He made me real sad,

When he tied me to the top of the flagpole. 

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I CREATED A MULTIVERSE WITHOUT EVEN TRYING

When I time travel the universe splits apart,

Into one that I've changed, and one that's the same from my start,

So, with this time travel curse,

I've created a multiverse,

This would really hurt my brain, if I were smart.

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I GUESS I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME

I guess I have no one to blame,

I missed out at my one chance for fame,

For I rescued a treed kitty,

Said the paper of the city,

But,

 they neglected to correctly spell my name.

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MY TOASTER DID NOT TOAST TOO WELL

My toaster did not toast too well,
It toasted mom's toast too toasty to jell,
So, I spread peanut butter,
Then, served it to mutter,
Who, disappointed, gave me a good yell.

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QUIGLEY'S FAMILY CAME FROM OUTER SPACE

Quigley's family came from outer space,
They lacked human components like feet and face,
But, the world was fooled,
For the kids were home schooled,
While, the Quigleys dined on the human race.

121920

MY LITTLE RED BARN IS NO MORE LIMERICK

My little red barn is no more,
The snow on the roof pushed the roof to the floor,
And, as for my cows,
They suffered ouches and oughs,
But, their safe though their homeless and poor.

22623

I BUILT A CABIN IN A SWAMP

I built a cabin in a swamp,
So, I'd have a place to romp,
I love all the snakes and the bugs,
With them I kisses and hugs,
But, on the lizards I like to stomp.

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