LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Heat
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
Heat
.
Show all posts
Monday, October 21, 2024
THE GUESTS AT MY BED AND DINNER
It got so cold, I asked the rats to snuggle in,
In my creaky bed with the bedbugs, and my gin,
We were all warm and cozy,
While the outside got snowzy,
Next day, I ate the rats for my six o'clock din.
Friday, April 12, 2024
THE SPACE LASAR GOT ME GOOD
There is this glowing space laser, some call it the sun,
It aims straight down on me, like some Martian ray gun,
It's not at all funny,
Getting zapped by the sunny
I feel cooked like a turkey, dry and crispy done.
6323
,
Thursday, January 4, 2024
THE SAUSAGE WAS SO HOT, IT MADE SAMMY WAIL
Thursday, Sammy got his meat in the afternoon mail,
Hot pepperoni that turned Sammy's pimples all pale,
It burned while going down,
In his guts round and round,
At the end, the burn was so bad it made Sammy wail.
Sunday, September 3, 2023
ANOTHER HEATWAVE, HOLIDAY DISASTER
It was so hot out, Jim's coffee couldn't keep ice,
It was so hot out, it killed all Jim's head lice,
His girl, Sweet Polly Sue,
A plastic doll, we all knew,
Had melted, until she didn't look very nice.
Friday, July 14, 2023
CHRISTMAS IN JULY
It was getting so hot, it made me psycho in the mind,
So I pretended it was Christmas, so I could unwind,
I saw the sky drop snow,
I watched the layers grow,
Then suddenly I wondered, if my snow shovel I could find.
Monday, July 10, 2023
HEATWAVE 2023
It got so very hot, even my little pansies died,
The last live flowers in my garden, and I cried, and cried,
Now only plastic flowers, I grow,
My lawn is astro turf; pretend to mow,
The only real plants I'll see again are ones that someone dried.
Wednesday, July 5, 2023
CROAK GOES THE WEASEL
I wish up in Canada, they'd stop the smoking,
So that people in Michigan, could stop choking,
It just ain't at all fair,
There's smoke clouds everywhere,
I saw a weasel gasp for air, I think he was croaking
Friday, June 9, 2023
THE TEMPERATURE IS TOO DARN HIGH
It was so hot the earth felt like a grill,
I was cooking and needed a chill,
My AC would not work,
Because of a utility clerk,
I was cut off because I couldn't pay my bill.
Friday, June 2, 2023
IT GOT SO HOT...
It became so very hot, my little house overheated,,
My air conditioner blew up, it was completely defeated,
I retreated to the tub,
In the water, I played sub,
Then the house exploded with fire, soon my walls were deleted.
Monday, May 29, 2023
WARNING! U-235 IS NOT FOR WOODSTOVES
I knew my old woodstove would need fuel, if I were to survive,
So I stole fuel from the nuke plant where I work, some uranium--235,
As I was getting very sick,
I threw it in my woodstove, quick
When my eyeballs both leaked out, I knew I was likely not alive.
Tuesday, February 1, 2022
FEBRUARY 1ST
It is February the very first,
It's cold, arse cold, maybe the worst,
No car ride to the town,
The darn car's broken down,
And the woodstove got too hot and burst.
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