BABY BOB HAD A DIAPER RASH

Baby boy Bob had a bad diaper rash,
His mother changed his diaper and put it in the trash,
But, the diaper rash was a curse,
Over time it got worse and worse,
He even had it at his bachelor boy bash.

I WENT ON A TRIP TO QUEBEC LIMERICK

I went on a trip to Quebec,ppp
Near Detroit my trip went to heck,
The tunnel was closed,
My trip was just hosed,
I got slammed in the trunk in a wreck.

I went on a trip to Quebec,
I thought I was being high tech,
I talked on my phone,
Someone slammed into my chrome,
I went no where: my car was a wreck.

MY FRIEND THE TOMATO WORM

My best friend was a tomato worm,
Sometimes I'd pinch him and make him squirm,
But, an accident brought such woes,
When I squished him between my toes,
That brought our relationship to it's term.

I BLOG THEN WALK MY DOG

I was a little blogger blogging on my blog,

Then I went a walking with my cocker spaniel dog,

We walked the forest late last night,

Until a bear gave us each a bite,

Now we rest in bear scat; each of us a big brown log.

I'M A FAMILY MAN NOW

I set up a fish tank so, I'd own a part of the sea,

I got ten little fish who had faces like me,

When friends came to visit my inside,

I showed my fish kids off with pride,

I got many congrats for my fine family.

I ONCE HAD A ROBOT NAMED SAM

I once had a butler robot named Sam,
He made sandwiches of Swiss cheese and ham,
Yet, what was real fine,
He made great rhubarb wine,
But, he sampled it and blew up going BAM!!!

RUN AWAY, CLIMB AWAY, BE A COWARD AND LIVE TODAY

Always a coward, I turn and I run,

I feel seeking pain is sick minded, not fun,

With a tiger frontal attack,

And, vicious bears at my back,

I reach for  branches to climb, not a gun.

NO TEAM SPIRIT ON FOOTBALL SUNDAY

I cannot get my team spirit in gear,

It's football on Sunday and I have no cheer,

No ants in my pants, 

To dance and shout chants,

Because the love of my life forgot beer.

MUSHROOMS AND DIVORCE

I ate mushrooms with each dinner course,

I gobbled them down feeling no remorse,

Then, there was a gurgle in my belly,

Like when I ate raw chicken from the deli, 

My stomach and mushrooms had a violent divorce. 

Who Will Be Dinner? The Turkey Or Me?

I went for the turkey and the vicious turkey, went for me,

One would be dinner the other, a tomorrow would not see,

We fought and we fought and we fought,

Till my throat, the turkey wings caught,

I hope he chokes on my wishbone then, we're together, me and he.

MICHIGAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL

In college football it must be said,
For Michigan, Michigan State is dread,
When the Spartans started to advance,
The U of M did not have a chance,
Between these two schools the rankings have spread.

I SELF-FURNACE WHEN I SQUAT

It's time for my long winter squat,

In a building the owner's forgot,

Of course, there's no heat,

But, I carbed up my belly and seat,

I self-furnace and that helps a lot.