WORMS, AND FINGERS, AND BRAINS, AND NOSE

Tyler thought he had a brain worm, up inside his big, pink head,

But, it was just his longest finger, so Tyler didn't go dead,

Tyler twisted his finger, all about,

But, his skinny finger would not come out,

A barmaid chopped the finger off; Tyler drank his self to bed.  

THE LOLLIPOP POEM OF REMEMBERANCE

They said "bye, bye", to their lollipops, when their lollipops were no more,

The pops were cute colored, and fruit flavored, causing the mouths to want more,

The cute pops did not want to die,

The last crunch, teared the licker's eye,

The death of all the lollipops, means another trip down to the store.

JIMMY TOOK A FERRY BOAT

Jimmy took a big ferry boat, out to see the amazing, Michigan, Sioux Locke's,

The Sioux Locke's were so very frightening to see, Jimmy sweat wet, his new, blue socks,

The Ferry was called, "The Abigail",

Powered with motors, not a wind sail,

The Abigail sank, losing passengers and crew, when it hit Canadian rocks.

TEARS FROM THE TREES

I went to the old oak forest, with my big chainsaw in hand,

I was there to attack trees, because I don't like where they stand,

The trees all started crying,

Afraid they'd soon start dying,

I cut the trees down, and made firewood, that was what I planed.  

I AM THE BOWLER, WEB TROLLER, AND SCROLLER OF DOOM

I spend all my day, economic doomscrolling,

I spend most all evenings, amateur bowling,

I play my new flute, it's a Pan,

Spoon garbanzo beans from a can,

When feeling real mean, I go online, web trolling.

THUNDER BUGS ARE COMING

When the sky is full of bright stars, but distant rumblings, make you wonder,

If soon the sky will be cloudy, save for flashing lightning, with thunder,

Although you seek, mommy hugs,

Rest assured, it's just bugs,

Bugs that set upon, attacking a quiet evening, to plunder.

BUGS AND MY EGG NOODLES, OH DEAR

Cooking egg noodles has always been my big dream,

I cook noodles all day, filling my house with steam,

The kids, all day shout,

To let the steam out,

But, then bugs come in, and bugs pee more than they seem.

BETTER MEAL: DRY ROAST TURKEY, OR FRIED CHICKEN

Harry stepped on my tulips, so he got no Easter cheesecake, or pie,

Harry didn't get Easter Dinner, because the crushed tulips made me cry,

Harry went back home, alone,

For his crimes, he must atone,

Harry made his own dinner, not dry turkey, but a moist chicken, fry.

POGO STICKING, GOES VIRAL

I am an alpha player, with the power pogo stick,

I jump higher and further, than all others in my clique,

I can jump twenty feet, high,

Jump the Thames, and barely try,

Now days, joining a pogo club, does not make you a hick.

HEATING LEFTOVERS FOR SUPPER

I bought a dead, dried maple tree and chopped it all up,

So, I could have firewood to cook my late-night sup,

The firewood heated fast,

My beef stew, from the night, past,

I'll still have some left for tomorrow, about a cup.

BOATS, BEES AND SLEEP

I was on some wicked water skies,

When attacked by vicious honey bees,

The bees attacked my pale, naked knees,

The poison made my leg muscles freeze,

I got to the beach, and caught some Z's.

DID THE DRINK KILL ME, OR MAKE ME LOOK COOL

I went to the local grocery store, and bought a markdown, specialty drink,

It was full of caffeine, and tasted like a chemical from under the sink,

It turned my hair green,

It sickened my spleen,

I seemed to drip a big purple tear, whenever my eye would do a quick blink.

THE DIM DAN EASTER BAN

My Easter, holiday,  dinner ham, came from a one pound can,

The only invite to my dinner, was my cousin, Dim Dan,

We had squash, buttercup,

Sweet potatoes, to sup,

Dan complained that I moved slow, so he got a permanent ban.