SOCIAL MEDIA IS SO SERIOUS

On Facebook I was trolled and trolled all Christmas day,

So, I cancelled my account to Twitter parley,

On Twitter I got a restricted account,

I guess I was sassy to an excessive amount,

I then went to Parlor and was banned right away.

I AIN'T A GOOD GIRL OR GOOD BOY

It's the day after Christmas and I've broken all my toys,

I guess I ain't one of those good girls or good boys,

So, I took my gift called a sweater,

And, made it much better,

I made a bag I filled with Almond Joys.

THE CHRISTMAS BEAR

Over there I saw the Christmas Bear,
He roared and gave me quite a scare,
I petted his head,
He knocked me down dead,
Petting the Christmas bear was an error.

HOW CHRISTMAS CAROLS COME TO BE

When the sky is cold and gray,
And summer seems so far away,
Snowflakes twinkle, a light display,
Then the mind begins to play,

Imagining a childhood tune,
Back in days that passed too soon,
Mother hummed it on christmas day,
While she set the table with display,

Soon some others would chime in,
Adding words with a Christmas spin,
Aunts and uncles and other kin,
Let their hearts speak out from deep within,

The house broke out with joyous song
And all the people sang along,
My sister pounded the piano keys,
New versus arrived with incredible ease,

Finally, the singing had to cease,
As we sat down for our meal of peace,
The food was really grand to eat,
But, being with loved ones is hard to beat,

The mind remembers the joyous past,
Those are the moments we want to last,
Such inspiration came to me,
How Christmas carols come to be.

CHRISTMAS DAY LIMERICK

Everyone deserves a Merry Christmas Day,
Eat a big dinner and watch the kids play,
After dinner and more,
Sleep with a loud snore,
And dream of summer fun on the bay.

BENNY THE ELF

Benny the elf made toys for Saint Nick,
After Christmas he'd visit his cousin named Rick,
Rick lived in Atlanta,
A long ways from dear Santa,
In a week Benny was feeling homesick.

BECAUSE THE CHRISTMAS PIGS HAD RUN AWAY LIMERICK

Because all the Christmas pigs had run away,
We had to eat tuna fish on Christmas day,
And, from my family there was no praise,
We didn't have mayonnaise,
Should have had TV dinners with a plastic tray. 

THE POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC HISTORY OF THE WORLD

Politicians must start thinking with clarity,
The earth is filled with the severed heads of kings,
Who, managed their people with austerity,
While, taking away all of  their things.

TIME TRAVEL CAN HURT

When I climbed up into my old tree house I time traveled back thirty years,

When I fell through the rotting boards it brought back my childhood tears,

The pain was not just from falling,

But, the taunting voices calling,

Then, when I broke some bones the taunts roared into blissful cheers.

SANTA HAD AN EVIL BUSINESSMAN'S ID

Santa had an  evil businessman’s Id,
Although at Christmas he would keep it well hid,
Santa liked to throw snowballs at elfin workers,
If he felt that they were elfin work shirkers,
So, on ice the elves  tripped him and laughed as he slid.

 

BITERS MAKE ME HIDE

Upon my pond glide scary riders,

Many call them water spiders,

So, in my pond I won't sit,

Too afraid to be bit,

Instead, I'll go back up the beach with the hiders.