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Showing posts with label SATIRE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SATIRE. Show all posts

Thursday, February 29, 2024

UNHEALTHY LIVING LIMERICK

Mark ate pigs-feet for his dinner meal,
They were greasy which was the appeal,
Eating lean, like turkey,
Is not that tasty,
Like pigs-feet and corn-fed fat veal.

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Monday, February 26, 2024

WHO HAS THE BLUEST MOON? LIMERICK

Nightly News Blue Moon
My Blue Moon
So, last night's moon was big and blue,

It was still not much worth looking to,
And, for ten minutes of views,
I missed the night news,
Where they showed the moon in a much bluer hue.


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Wednesday, February 21, 2024

FORSAKE ME NOT MY JELLYROLL

Forsake me not my jellyroll,
I need said roll to guide my soul,
The flavors are Zen,
It's perfection, a ten,
Glazed bread with a sweet fruit-filled hole.


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Sunday, February 11, 2024

JIMBO'S CHICKEN COOP FIRE

When Jimbo's chicken coop caught fire,

The chickens escaped over the chicken wire,

But, they didn't get anywhere,

They were all ate by a bear,

Now, Jimbo's chicken farm's future is dire.


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COOP

Tuesday, February 6, 2024

MY NEIGHBORHOOD

Some of my neighbors live in tree houses; not safe from the big bad cat,
Some neighbors live in tunnels, with family members packed in like the rat,
Some of my neighbors live in a lean-to, just loose boards leaned against a tree,
I live out in the open, easy prey, but at least I feel free,
Rich neighbors live in abandoned cars, but the bears smell where they're at.

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A PONEY NAMED PENELOPE PIE

There was a pony named Penelope Pie,
Down every race track she would fly,
She was owned by Pap Herbie,
He entered her in the Derby,
When she lost she had a really good cry.

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Friday, February 2, 2024

I TOOK OUT MY BOAT TO SLAUGHTER FISH

Out upon a bit of sea water,
I took my boat for fish to slaughter,
But, I hit a big wave,
Found a watery grave,
Where I fed a hungry sea otter.


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Wednesday, January 17, 2024

BROTHER BRAT

My trumpet notes are really flat,
Since my brother beat it with a bat,
He beat my oboe on the floor,
And slammed my trombone in ma's truck door,
My big brother is a bully brat.

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Monday, January 15, 2024

A TIGER SAT DOWN LIMIERCK

A tiger sat down in my dining room,
He said his hunger would be my untimely doom,
But I was thinking much quicker,
And knowing tigers can't hold their liquor,
Gave him some scotch; the tiger passed out and fell, boom!

 

Sunday, January 14, 2024

DAISIES ON THE BARN WALLS

Bob painted daisies on his barn walls one day,
To calm down his horses as they ate their hay,
Then in one awful haste,
The horses just had to taste,
And, the barn walls and the daisies went away.

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Tuesday, January 9, 2024

A BUTTERFLY NAMED IRVING

There was a butterfly named Irving,
When he flew he went a swerving,
He got by a bird and bat,
And, an orange kitty cat,
They found his moves perturbing,

Irving the butterfly liked to dance,
The lady butterflies he'd romance,
Irving strove to improve,
His every dance move,
So, his lady luck he could enhance.

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Thursday, January 4, 2024

THE HUNGRY COUGAR HAIKU

Door, Cougar scratching,
Brow wet, shirt sweat, pants not dry,
Man friendly? Doubtful.

Cougar, hungry, food,
Door scratched, window pane rapped, smashed,
No food, What food? Me!

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Wednesday, January 3, 2024

DOOMED BY A DEB WITH A WEB


I saw a spider-web when I looked outside,
It was in my window, over half as wide,
I found in the web,
A black-widow named Deb,
She bit me and that's how I died.

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Friday, December 29, 2023

BENNY BUILT A TIME MACHINE

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Benny built a time machine,

But, he benefited not,

For when he went back to change the past,

The future he forgot.
 

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

THURMOND'S TELESCOPE IS FOR THE BIRDS

Thurmond's telescope made the news one day,

When Thurmond saw spacecrafts heading our way,

After networks broadcast his words,

The spacecrafts turned out to be birds,

There was a crow, a dove and blue jay.

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Tuesday, December 26, 2023

THE TWO PETER POEM

Peter I and Peter II were competitive twins,
They also shared both their virtues and their sins,
They both had a penchant for mutton,
Upon which they each were a gluten,
The one that dies the very fattest, I guess wins.

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Sunday, December 24, 2023

TREE

                              LCB


I eat my crumpets, sip my tea,
From my kitchen, I can see,
I have a beautiful pine tree,
It's free spirit makes me feel free,
I'll make a swing, then I'll go "Wee!"😁







Monday, December 18, 2023

SANTA, BELLS AND BATTERIES

Santa had to buy brand new batteries, to make his big sleigh bells ring,
But, the elves stole the batteries for karaoke, because elves like to sing,
So, Santa's long fight,
Was one dreary night,
With the reindeer all singing "Ding, Ding....".


Friday, December 15, 2023

THE BALLAD OF DARREN AND KARREN MAILBOXES

There was a big mailbox named Darren,
A box down the street was named Karen,
Without a push or a shove,
They could never find love,
So, their hearts would always be barren.

Darren was a mailbox,
He loved Karen down the street,
Although their hearts were locked in love,
Their posts were in concrete.

Thursday, December 14, 2023

MY CHEERFUL HELLO LIMERICK

I say a cheerful hello ten times everyday,

But, the reactions leave me in a state of dismay,

Words and hand gestures I can't say,

An occasional backside display,

I guess being cheerful is a job with no pay.