IN THE TOILET WITH QUANTUM MECHANICS

In the bathroom, I found a singularity, inside my toilet bowl,

It was really quantum stuck, and it refused to enter the big, black hole,

My brother, the plumber,

He can't get much dumber,

He created a space-time tightening, when he used an entire roll.

SCHRODINGER'S CAT UNBOXED

My friend Schrodinger, could not find his son's, dead cat,

It was not in the box, where it should of been at,

The mystery did grow,

Then we spied my son, Moe,

With a cat tail hanging from his mouth, what a brat.

WHY I WEAR MY BLINGS

Some people push a theory that the universe is made of strings,

I completely disagree, the verse is made of just pretty things,

It's made of kitty cats,

And puppies that wear hats,

Of course, it's made of golden jewelry, that's why I wear my blings.

OUR ROCKETS WERE TOO BIG TO FLY INTO OUTER SPACE

We tried to launch gigantic rockets, but they all went downward bound,

We couldn't break the curse called gravity, so our rockets kissed the ground,

We could not figure out why?

Gravity wouldn't let us fly,

Then one rocket fell upon us, and that Boom! was our last heard sound.

MARTY THE SMARTY WANTS YOU FOR DINNER

Marty the great physicist, was a mathematics big deal,

But none of his equations, could predict what was real and unreal,

It racked Marty in his big brain,

He became completely insane,

His conviction for cannibalism, is in court on appeal.

THE GHOSTED TIME TRAVELERS

On my brand new time-ship, everything went all blurry,

As some particles slowed, others started to hurry,

I felt my particles collide,

Pretty sure we all died,

At least now that I am dead, I don't have to worry.

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I CHURNED THROUGH SPACE AND TIME; NOW I'M IN JAIL, AGAIN

I went churning through space and time,

To find me the best limerick rhyme,

Didn't know why they'd care,

But police were everywhere,

Seems space-time churning is considered a crime.

MY UNIVERSE IS MADE UP OF STRINGS

My entire universe consists of strings,

I put strings on fiddles and banjos and things,

I run string for cloths lines,

I string tie-up grape vines,

I even string gold, and make jewelry that blings.

TIME TRAVEL DREAMER

My spaceship travels faster than light,

That means time travel, and it's a delight,

Maybe some ancient Greece,

Might give me some peace,

And new pyramids might be a delight.

I AM LEVER MAN

I gave the planet called world, a tremendous gift,

I invented the lever, now the world has some lift,

Now we can teeter and totter,

And drink lemon-lime water,

Until we're frozen and buried, in a real deep snow drift.

NOEL'S IMMORTALITY FOUND BY APPROACHING LIGHT SPEED

Because the dreaded unknown conjures great fears,

Noel wanted to live for billions of years,

He came up with a plan,

To become an immortal man,

Gaining wealth while others were losing their tears, 

Noel sent rockets into outer space, 

Faster rockets was in Noel's plan, the base,

If fast enough they could go,

The future Noel would soon know,

Immortality exits in the future place.

DING DING AND THE SUPER STRING THEORY OF EVERYTHING

I thought I'd test out a string theory,

But, I have no super collider to aid my querry,

So, I got me some string,

From my kitty, Ding Ding,

My methods make my peers rather weary.

I GOT A QUANTUM COMPUTER FOR CHRISTMAS

I got a quantum computer but, don't know what it does,

Never heard of a quantum in books or in buzz,

I've been doing just fine,

Learning Albert Einstein,

With quantum, I don't know my now from my was.

MY EARLY RETIREMENT

I studied quantum mechanics and it made me insane,

Because, I do not have a very big brain,

Now, I sit in the backyard all day,

Watching red squirrels play,

Even that makes my forehead throb, pain.

THE SPOOKY UNIVERSE AND ME

I knew a physics professor a long time ago,

He stuck an idea in my head that has started to glow,

He said the universe acted all spooky,

So, I thought then, he was kooky,

But, at a distance I observed now, I know.