I FORGOT TO PACK STUFF

Can I borrow your toothbrush because, I left mine home,

I'm afraid I'll need to use it while, I'm visiting your dome,

Don't fret, I have no disease,

Unless, you count STDs,

And, I must borrow your shaver and foam

I Horde Gas

I horde and store gas in plastic sandwich bags,

It's safe cause I wrap the bags in paper towels and old rags,

When I have spent my last bill,

And, when my mobile home has it's fill,

The floor on my trailer, it sags

A PINCHY OF HERBS FOR BLURBS

Sometimes my sauces I disturbs,

By adding just a pinchy of herbs,

I simmer my sauces well,

Till they're all bubbly and swell,

And, my family gassy family makes blurbs and more blurbs.

MR. ROBIN REMEMBERED

Mr. Robin had a broken wing,
But, he'd still tell jokes and act and sing,
He did his best, 
For us chicks in the nest,
He'll be remembered for doing that thing.

MY HOUSING HIGH

Housing prices are incredibly high,

So, I sold mine to give leisure a try,

But, after the mortgage and closing cost,

Instead of a profit, I lost,

Now, that I'm homeless and bankrupt, I cry.

THE WEBSITE TROLLS

My website is visited by trolls,
I fear they have nefarious goals,
When a sentence I complete,
If they don't like it they'll delete,
They must be from the dark web of souls.

I WENT DOWN TO THE DEVIL

I went to the devil to make me this deal,

I loved one that back for me, had nadda feel,

The devil told me my prime,

Was lost too long in time,

He said, "No looks, no money, get real."

I AM WHAT I AM BECAUSE OF MY MA AND PA

I am so lucky to have my ma and pa,

They raised me on coffee and tobacco chaw,

Although, my teeth were all black,

And, my chaw spit caught me flack,

I became the town marshal and law.