EGGS: NOT FOR DINNER

I bought a dozen large, chicken eggs,

Inside, I found beaks, eyes, guts and legs,

Near as I could tell,

These eggs were not well,

The store won't take them back, though I begs.

MY NOODLES TASTED LIKE FOOT BOOGERS.

I got very hungry, and needed something for a noontime eat,

I went to a store, and tried buying a teeny piece of raw meat,

Although the meat came from groins,

The price was more than my coins,

I bought a pack of old noodles, that tasted like someone's gym feet.

I WAS A LITTLE RASPBERRY

I was a little red raspberry, a raspberry I was,

I started getting somewhat rotten, and grew a little fuzz,

Someone wanted me for sup,

So they tried to clean me up,

I spread out into red pimples, like an old raspberry does.

KITCHENING WITH JENNY

Jenny had many pans and Jenny had some pots,

Jenny had a toaster, and toasted lots and lots,

Jenny had a new, hot air fryer,

Fancy cookware? she was a buyer,

When Jenny has food leftover, it sits and rots.

3 WISHES: COLA, BEEF AND A PORCELAIN VACATION

Jim wished that he could consume some beef

Beef and cola, for his hunger grief,

Holy Mola, 

Beef and cola,

And constipation pills for relief.

WHAT I DID WITHOUT GRANNY

I danced through a canyon, toward a little city,

That is where I stopped, where I decided to be,

I had a cafe made lunch,

Two fruit biscuits and a punch,

I then hurried on home, to get granny her tea.

LEGS: ACCIDENT OR CRIME

This morning for breakfast, I was served toast, bacon and eggs,

I noticed in my eggs two sets of tiny chicken legs,

The sight made me so very ill,

I had to take a heartburn pill,

Was this leg scandal purposeful, is what the question begs?

BREAKFAST OF THE BLUEBERRY LOSER

My fresh blueberries, they all ran away,

I had saved them for my cereal day,

My cereal tastes like straw,

And someone's chewed chaw,

And it's gritty, and chews just like hard clay.

EFFICIENCY

There once was a toilet named Mabel,

She was setup at the kitchenette table,

Now, your nostrils might rue,

You could eat and go poo,

While watching your news shows on cable.

OLD JEFFREY IN THE MORNING

Jeff had two turkey sausages along with his tea,

He would of had eggs, but they disagree with Jeffrey,

Jeff did drink orange juice,

To keep his bowels loose,

OJ also gives old Jeffrey his vitamin C.

MY DOG AND TONY SHOW

My dog was looking thin and bony,

So I fed him some macaroni, 

I took him to see his dog friend, Tony,

I think their friendship is kind of phony,

They love to watch My Little Pony.   

  

HAM FLAVORED CLERKY MANAGER

A lion walked into a grocery store, looking for a plump clerk,

The clerks were all very thin and busy, rushing around their

 work,

A portly mean manager, named Sam,

Was yelling, and smelled like ham,

The lion hauled Sam out the door, and fed her cubs ham flavored jerk.

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BAD DAY AND BOWS

I tripped over my toes,

That started off my woes,

I hit my head,

I went to bed,

For breakfast, I had macaroni bows.

ANOTHER HOLIDAY VISITOR

There was an evil raven in my house; he flew in through my door,

He started a conversation, that I decided, best to ignore,

Then he pecked upon my head,

I hit him hard, and he was dead,

So we ate raven for Thanksgiving, and he tasted like a s'more.

EPITAPH IN RHYME

I was eating some beans flavored with dill,

Drank a soda to wash down the bad swill,

I didn't know my cola,

Was laced with Ebola,

Then they buried me way far up the hill.

MENU FOR MY DINNER PARTY

There's nothing more nutritious than burnt beans and raw fishes,

Everyone loves it:  guests lick clean their own dishes,

Then a desert of ice cream and tripe,

But the tripe must be ripe,

Finally, the fish bones may be broke granting wishes.

VEGETARIANISM SCHISM.

Some plants grow very high, some plants grow very low,

Some plants have cute fruits, some have fat tubers below,

Some plants make you sick,

And, they'll ghost you real quick,

I'd rather eat burgers, and chop plants with my hoe.

JERRY THE BEAR

I went to see Jerry at his lair,

I owed Jerry money; he was a bear,

It's kinda funny,

Jerry didn't want my money,

He ate my liver and said, "we are square".

PRAWNS

I love to eat tasty, butter fried prawns,

I eat a big plate when the sun makes new dawns,

It's my breakfast meal,

With fish smelly appeal,

I chew them as I window watch, doe deer with their fawns.

LAKE WOEBE WAS GONE

I went to Lake Woebe and found the lake was gone,

There was not any water, or cabins with green lawn,

There were fish stuck in the mud,

So my trip was not a dud,

The fish were stuck really good; to remove them took brawn.