CRUSHED DREAMS OF THE CELLIST

My cello was run over by a sports car,

It's destroyed, now I won't be a cellist star,

I thought it wouldn't get injured,

So it was never insured,

I went from concerts, to tending a dive bar.

THE PAN FLUTER

I took music lessons from Mr. Poot,

He taught me the drums, and the Pan flute,

I had a flute embouchure,

So I went on world tour,

I got famous playing toot, toot, toot.

BANDALEITO

There was a little mosquito,

They all called him, Bandaleito,

He played a little harp,

In the key of C-sharp,

Bug spray would make him retreato.

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HARRY PLAYED 13 HOLE HARMONY

Harry didn't like playing harmony, but that's all they'd let him do,

Although, Harry was acclaimed at playing the 13 hole kazoo, 

Melody was for the 1st strings,

Harmony for the other things,

So Harry organized a union, now melody he plays too.

JEFFREY AND HIS CORNET

Jeff got out his Vaseline, to grease his cornet slide,

Jeff used the slide to stay in tune, so he could blow with pride,

Jeff was so proud to be 1st chair,

He fingered every note with care,

Jeff never have a girlfriend, for his cornet was his bride.

TING ME A SONG WITH YOUR TONG, JEFFY

Jeffy Jerry cannot sing,

But man, that guy can really ting,

He tings his songs

With copper tongs,

And that is just his thing.

BUSTER THE BANJO PLAYER POEM

Buster was a banjo player,
He played the banjo well,
But, the only song in his repertoire,
Was the Overture to William Tell,

Buster could not read or write,
He didn't know one note from another,
He only learned to play William Tell,
From the whistling of his mother,

Buster tried to learn new songs,
He tried leaning them by ear,
But, when he tried to play the songs,
His audience would sob, "Oh Dear!"

Buster became so frustrated,
He decided not to play,
He figured music was overrated,
So, he sits and dreams all day.

DONNY FINGERED WRONG HIS TROMBONE, NOW HE PLAYS ALL ALONE

Donny got so excited yanking his trombone,

That he broke his finger bone,

Now he's so sad,

Because he now plays so bad,

He was fired from the band for his musical tone.

FAILURE TO TOOT TOOT

I had a little commute,

To the concert hall to play my toot toot,

But to my despair,

Nobody was there,

It seems the promoter had got the boot boot.

THERE WAS A BAND THAT PLAYED OUT OF TUNE

A band played way out of tune,
They played from midnight until noon,
And, they could not keep a beat,
Even tapping their feet,
I wish they would quit really soon.