MY OLD MARE LIMERICK

My old mare thought she was a superior horse breed,

So, she'd only eat super premium horse feed,

Then, she read the ingredient on the sack,

And, had a major heart attack,

For the ingredient was just ground up ragweed.
 

THE BROKEN NOSE LIMERICK

I was watering my garden and pulled on the hose,

It pulled loose from the house and I fell on my nose,

My nose broke in two places,

So, with two profile faces,

I change my look when I change my nose pose.

 

FUNDING A NEW CORVETTE

I went to buy a new Corvette,

But, found I couldn't afford the debt,

So, I remortgaged my house,

Divorced my shop-happy spouse,

Still, my funds haven't got their yet.