FISH TONS AND NOT TO BE

How many, many tons of salty fish, are in the whole sea?

That was the question that really bothered, the brain cells in me,

I couldn't sleep at night,

My fingernails, I'd bite,

Then when I died,  the question was what is meant by not to be?.

THE TOMATO JUICE PHILOSOPHER

I went and bought tomato juice, and drank it from the jar,

I got pulled over by the police, for drink-driving my car,

I could not make bail,

Spent twenty years in jail,

Wife left me for a donut maker; my, ain't life bizarre

BRAIN PUDDING

I don't mind being called a Hypocrite,
I often say one thing then, do the opposite bit,
Ideas, my mind can't hold,
My brains are pudding I've been told,
But, I'm not the one having a fit.

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SANTA CLAUS RODE ON HIS RED SLEIGH

Santa Claus rode on his red sleigh,
Bringing presents on Christmas day,
He couldn't hardly steer,
His rowdy reindeer,
Till he agreed to give them more pay.

THE BETTER DAY LIMERICK

All my acquaintances and the sages always say,

Tomorrow will positively be a better day,

But in my logical bighead,

Tomorrow is closer to dead,

Thus, I should hope tomorrow stays far, far, far away.

MOST TIMES, IT'S IN OUR STARS

Ricky drove a pallet jack, unloading dish soap off a truck,

Seven long years of college, and Ricky's life did truly suck,

Owed 90 thou in college debt,

Left his wife, he did regret,

The only chance that Ricky has, is blackjack and lady luck.

THE PANDA PHILOSOPHY

Panda's name was Panda Pete,

Panda Pete liked to eat and eat,

Panda Pete liked new friends to meet,

Panda Pete liked to watch the street,

Panda Pete saw the stars, as neat.

GOLD STAR DIRT, EXCEPT FOR BURT

They say we're all made of gold star dirt,

Maybe that's true, except for my cousin, Burt,

For what within he has got,

Mostly resembles green snot,

And Burt's ex says Bert is a pervert.

THE SPARROW'S NUMBER WAS UP

For the sparrow it was up, his number,

He was frozen to a dead branch in slumber,

His life had past,

So brief, so fast,

One dead bird sitting on dead lumber,

BRAIN PUDDING

I don't mind being called a Hypocrite,
I often say one thing then, do the opposite bit,
Ideas, my mind can't hold,
My brains are pudding I've been told,
But, I'm not the one having a fit.

BRAIN PUDDING

I don't mind being called a Hypocrite,
I often say one thing then, do the opposite bit,
Ideas, my mind can't hold,
My brains are pudding I've been told,
But, I'm not the one having a fit.

CAROLINE WAS THE LIGHT ON THE BAY

Caroline was the light on the bay,
When she left the light faded away,
I promised that I would change,
But, my voice was out of range,
Now my heart breaks with each passing day.

THE BIG ROCK COMES FOR US

There's a great big rock that comes for us,

But, We cannot jump off our satellite bus,

Our forward road is so clear,

Our future time is quite dear,

We must enjoy life without fear or a fuss.

OF KITES AND KINGS

The reign of kings and dictates of the state,
Their engine speaks without review of choice,
The masses, millions,live from fate to fate,
Their cries are silenced by the nobler voice.

The technocrats, the learned contemplate,
Their, marbled halls and golden domes so grand,
Their seaside towns where they can recreate,
And, celebrate the powers in their hand.

The millions work and let their leaders play;
No land, no strength, no powers can they sight;
The rich man's clout shall rule beyond today;
The poor mans luck goes crashing like a kite.

The kings by choice, they soar above the ground,
By winds and strings the kites drift ever down.

I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THE BOOKS THAT I'VE READ LIMERICK

I can’t remember all the books that I’ve read,
All the movies I’ve seen or the foods that I’ve fed,
All I know is that tomorrow,
Be it joyful or full of sorrow,
My experiences are the guides and so I’m led.l

THERE WAS A BIG GUY NAMED LARRY-Limerick

There was a big guy named Larry,
With two noses he really looked scary,
So, he had a nose job,
Now with only one knob,
Larry might actually marry.

THERE WAS AN OLD BANKER NAMED GENE

There was an old banker named Gene,
Everyone knew he was mean,
He would charge huge fees,
Put you down on your knees,
His interest rates were obscene.


There was an old banker named Gene,
Foreclosures made him real green,
He did what he could,
Not what he should,
He's so rich that now its obscene.

SOLID MORNING FOG By Leigh Collin Brandt

VERSE I
Solid morning fog,

Sweet vapors of yesterday,

Melting into dresms.

VERSE II
The thick morning fog,

Sweet vapors of yesterday,

Melting into sunbeams.

WINTER SLEEPER By Leigh Collin Brandt

The Winter Sleeper,

Green goddess of the forest,

Awaken to the sun.