THE OLD PEOPLE DREAM, AND THE REAL

I dream of eating a whole stick of rich butter,

Once I can afford to move, from this pee gutter,

But, there's no jobs about,

For this geezer with gout,

Last time I fell down, it left me with a stutter.

THE DAY OLD DIXIE DIED, AND LEFT ME SOMETHING

Today, old Dixie died of a heart attack, within her mobile home,

She forever sleeps in oblivion, and her mind don't have to roam,

Dixie had an extensive will,

I got her pantry, canned roadkill,

Her trailer belonged to the welfare, as did her mattress made of foam.

TRINA AND THE POPSICLE LADY

Trina went outside, and stood in the sub-zero snowstorm,

Trina wouldn't stay inside, because she said it was too warm,

Trina forgot she was old,

Didn't know the hot from the cold,

Trina froze like a popsicle, a mid-winter storm norm.

UNCLE JOE'S RETREAT

Poor, old Uncle Joe could never find romance,

Joe became an expatriate, to South France,

All the day long,

He'd hum his song,

At night there was karaoke, before the dance.

THE SIMPLE WINNER

I won a set of new screwdrivers at the bingo hall,

I was so excited, when I got that last number call,

My porch has a loose board,

Now if a screw, I could afford?

I could stand on the board, and stand there real tall.