WASHING MACHINE BLUES

My washing machine flooded the floor,

A soap river flowed out my backdoor,

The wet wood started to a cave,

Made the crawlspace its grave,

My landlord saw the mess, and did roar.

JIMMY DRESSED FOR SPORT

Jimmy played several sports,

He would always wear sport shorts,

His clothes were green,

Stayed mostly clean,

He wore white on tennis courts.

I BLAME MY BROTHER

Those little elves have been spying for Santa Claus,

I haven't been good, so this years presents might pause,

I think it wise,

Not to apologise,

I'll blame my brother for the bad things I cause.

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WE EAT WHAT DADDY GROWS IN THE GARDEN, NOT

Ben's peppers were an abnormal hot,

They made all his kids noses, run snot,

Kids would not eat them,

They stayed on the stem,

Until they became putrid with rot.

FARE THEE WELL YOUNG JIMMY YONG

Young Jimmy got bit by a bad tick,

And, the tic bite made Jimmy so sick,

It was one hot summer day,

We laid in sand by the bay,

Just a bite, and my Jimmy went quick.

DEAD GUYS ARE OUT TO GET ME, SAYS MY PSYCHIC

I went to my Psychic, and her predictions were dire,

Some dead guy told her that he would blowout a tire,

One said he'd wait,

Then seal my fate,

By flying my kite into an electrical wire.

DINNER 2+ AND MOO

It might be enough for you,

But I like to eat dinner, two,

And most time I eat three,

The fourth, in front of TV,

Then I nightcap with warm milk from a moo.