BONES, CLONES AND THE OVERTON WINDOW

Everyone, completely hates me, the Overton Window has shone,

They all dislike me, since they found out that I'm not human, just a clone,

It is the OW curse,

Once started, it gets worse,

Each time the OW shifts against me, I feel a broken bone.

Note:  Many years ago, Joseph Overton was a close friend of mine.  We met in a high school class called Advanced Composition. Joe had a brilliant mind, and I'm happy to see his work referenced by major political commentators and pundits, from across the political spectrum. 

MY PET BAT PICKED BAD FRIENDS

My pet bat is loaded with lice,

He hangs out too much with field mice,

Having really bad friends,

Has led my bat to bad ends,

So, before making new friends he'll think twice.

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CECIL DIESEL: THE MATH RAT THAT MOCKS CAT

Cecil Diesel is a very mean, but intelligent rat,

He made my big pussy cat cry, when he said she was too fat,

Cecil is great with my twin kids,

When their math grades were on the skids,

Cecil taught the kids quadratic equations; I'm up with that.

PETS IN THE POOL

My piranha pets that I keep in my pool, needed desperately to eat,

I invited over my neighbor to swim; he was loaded with fatty meat,

The big neighbor jumped into the pool,

With the voracious piranha school,

My pets striped the man's bones of fatty meat, from his bald head to his little feet.

PLAIN FISH OR FISH DIPPED

I went out to sea in a little, tiny, sailboat ship,

I made friends with a nice, chatty dolphin, his name was Flip,

We always ate fresh fish,

From the same plastic dish,

The dolphin ate his plain, but I preferred an onion dip.

SANTA, THE SNOW MONSTER AND THE ITTY BITTY

Santa went walking one night, and met a snow monster, and she was pretty,

The snow monster came up north, because the snow had melted in the city,

In the city, there were humans to eat,

Santa shared with her his best reindeer meat,

They ate deer meat all summer, the tastiest deer were the itty bitty.

HENRY WAS MY DEMON FRIEND

Henry was a little demon; a little demon Henry was,

He always got his hair cut in a fun style, he called a "buzz",

Henry baked a nice pudding cake,

He took it to my cousin's wake,

I asked Henry why he  baked a cake, Henry replied, "just because".

THE BEAR IN THE BARN WAS WAITING FOR ME

I went out to the barn and what surprise did I find,

A bear waiting out there, like a hunter in a blind,

He waited there just for me, 

He poured two cups of coffee,

We chatted and had a chance to unwind.

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REPURPOSING WOODEN FRUIT

I got a fruit basket from a friend, but the fruit was carved from wood,

I chewed and chawed, cut and stabbed, but for food, the fruit wasn't any good,

I stacked the fruit in a tall pyre,

Lit it with a kerosene fire,

I dumped on honey, ate the coals, and the food tasted like it should.

I LOST MY BROS WHILE RAFTING, OH WELL

My bros and I went rafting down the river, and we hit a great, big rock,

I was very surprised, but my mates were all thrown overboard, by the shock,

My mates they could not find,

I hate to sound unkind,

I kept my head; I went home for supper, and watched the news at 6 o'clock.

MY FRIEND THE IMPALER, IS KEPT BY A JAILER

I knew this guy, The Impaler, he collected dead bugs,

He got jollies impaling them, because he lacked mommy hugs,

One day he went to jail,

Because his  boyfriend, he tried to impale,

Now he does serious time, weaving baskets and entry rugs.

BFF BLUE PIG

My bestie, blue pig, got all covered with the mud,

I set him down in a tub of hot soapy sud,

He let on a big, loud squeal,

Like a braked Chevy wheel,

The water was too hot, and boiled my best bud.

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BENNY, BUGS, BEARS AND SNUGS

Benny don't like the woods cause it's full of biting bugs,

And there's lots of hairy bears that squeeze him with bear hugs,

Benny likes to stay inside,

From bugs and bears, he then can hide,

Then with his blue blanket, Benny caresses it and snugs.

THE GOOD NEIGHBOR (NOT)

I bought four used tires for my Chevy pickup truck,

My neighbor had a nail gun, so I was out of luck,

The neighbor punctured each tire,

Set my whole pickup on fire,

I sued him in court, but did not get a single buck.

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AFTER DEATH, I AM WITH MY PET

A hungry tiger escaped from the zoo,

He ate up my pretty, pet cow, named Moo, 

I feel really blue,

The cat ate me too,

I and my pet cow, became tiger poo.

SUMMERTIME

Sleeping bears and snoring raccoons,

Dream cool dreams, on hot afternoons,

Then a walrus stops by,

Bringing fish for a fry,

After beer and Boone's, they sing tunes.

TUNA BREATH LIVES ALONE

When my buddy has been eating tuna, he has a tell,

His breath has a nasty, pungent type of exhaust, to smell,

My buddy's breath makes eyes squint,

But, he won't intake a mint,

His roomies kicked him out, and at my place, he will not dwell.

THE PUKE THAT PUT ME IN JAIL

I washed down a crusty, dry doughnut, with a soda pop,

I started to puke, and was observed, by a passing cop,

The cop took me to jail,

Where I puked in a pail,

My bro, Mike bailed me out, and I went to his crib, to flop.

IN MEMORY OF MY ONLY TRUE FRIEND, JEEVES

I never should have gone to that party, over at Steve's,

First, I got the botulism, followed by dry, horse heaves,

What else could have gone wrong?

I could not sing my song,

Celebrating the dead poet, our friend we knew, as Jeeves

TRAVEL WITH SOMEONE SMARTER, THAN YOURSELF

Recently, I traveled to Brazil, but my Portuguese, was flawed,

I searched all my brains, to use the right words, but I hemmed and I hawed,

Pa says it's because, I am dim,

Ma says it's because, I'm like him,

Luckily, my travel mate, has language abilities to laud.