LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
FRIENDS
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
FRIENDS
.
Show all posts
Saturday, December 7, 2024
I'm An Unappreciated Baker, So Screw Them
I made a pie full of strawberries, but the berries were not ripe,
The pie was extremely tangy, and everyone had to gripe,
That's the last pie,
Until I die,
Instead of feeding the family, I'll relax, and smoke my pipe.
Wednesday, November 27, 2024
BFF BLUE PIG
My bestie, blue pig, got all covered with the mud,
I set him down in a tub of hot soapy sud,
He let on a big, loud squeal,
Like a braked Chevy wheel,
The water was too hot, and boiled my best bud.
Monday, September 30, 2024
MELON, MEAT AND CORN
I had a watermelon, and I cut the melon into three,
One piece for my dog Lindsey, and the other two pieces, for me,
Then I ate a spiral ham,
My dog Lindsey, just got spam,
Then I shared my last can of corn, and Lindsey was tail-wag happy.
Monday, September 16, 2024
DEAD WITH POODLE NED
My universe collapsed down on my head,
It was my dog coup; I knew I was dead,
I was in doggy heaven,
With my bestie hound, Kevin,
And my enemy, a Poodle, named Ned.
Monday, September 2, 2024
THE GARY PAIR
Gary the dentist and Gary the house fly,
Roomed together in a townhouse in the sky,
Once Dr. Gary copped a tude,
So flying Gary got rude,
He pooped on the fresh eggs, Dr. Gary did fry.
Sunday, August 11, 2024
WILL SLEEP WHEN ONE IS DEAD
My little puppy stayed up all night with his best frog, friend Fred,
I told them to sleep; puppy said that he'd sleep when he was dead,
Next day, puppy was very tired,
I gave him sugar; he got wired,
Puppy ran around in circles, and fell sleepy, into bed.
Sunday, May 5, 2024
THE GOOD NEIGHBOR (NOT)
I bought four used tires for my Chevy pickup truck,
My neighbor had a nail gun, so I was out of luck,
The neighbor punctured each tire,
Set my whole pickup on fire,
I sued him in court, but did not get a single buck.
Saturday, May 4, 2024
DELETING MY CHILDHOOD APPS
I had so many downloads from the app downloading store,
I had to delete my old favs, before downloading more,
I deleted my app for Pong,
Space Invaders, Tetris and Kong,
After deleting my old games, my soul felt very poor.
Monday, April 22, 2024
FRED THE RED HAS GONE TO THE BAY
I had to box and bury my bestest friend, Fred,
My favorite goldfish, only he was more red,
He's now swimming today,
In a heavenly bay,
With all my other goldfish that I have found dead.
Thursday, February 8, 2024
WHAT ATE MY PRETTY BEAR
I was delirious, and had a real bad scare,
A wolverine attacked and ate my pretty bear,
My bear I called Honey,
He was nice, and funny,
That bad wolverine caused me sadness and despair.
Monday, December 25, 2023
INKY IN THE DEEP
When Inky my pet octopus died,
His friend Boris, the bear cried and cried
Down my new toilet bowel,
Went Inky's remains and soul,
To the septic, Inky had a nice ride.
Friday, November 17, 2023
I FOUND MY FAMILY IN MY TEA
I found a sea horse swimming in my instant tea,
I really do not know how he got there, to be,
I put him in a glass bowl,
So he could stretch out his soul,
I now have a family, my sea horse and me.
Monday, October 2, 2023
THE LITTLE GREEN WARLOCK
There was a little green warlock, living in an oak tree,
He was always placing mean spells, upon my mates and me,
One day he chanced to come inside,
The little bar, where we have pride,
He then beat us all at darts, for a dart player was he.
LONELY MORRIS, THE MUSICAL ELF
When Morris ate beans, it made him toot,
Sometimes a 29 gun salute,
Morris was Santa's Elf,
Painted toys by himself,
He retired a lonely old coot.
Tuesday, September 12, 2023
THE LITTLE RAT IN THE BARN
I found a small rat out in the cow barn, and made it my best pet,
I fed it lots of fruit and corn, and got it shots down at the vet,
My little rat, he grew and he grew,
He was off to college, before I knew,
My little rat became a surgeon, paid off the farm, now I'm set.
Monday, August 28, 2023
NESSIE EATS FLIP UP
The Loch Ness monster has ate the seahorse, named Flip,
From the time we were little, Flip was tied to my hip,
Nessie did my Flip wrong,
So I'll write Flip a song,
And, I'll get a new seahorse buddy, named Zip.
Monday, August 21, 2023
THE PERCH OF WINSTON CHURCH
Before Benny went back to school, he said, "bye", to Winston Church,
Winston is a parakeet, who sits and poops upon his perch,
Benny left Winston food to eat,
Filled Winston's water, and left a treat,
Some days when Winston gets real board, he does a Google search.
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
THE BEAR IN THE BARN WAS WAITING FOR ME
I went out to the barn and what surprise did I find,
A bear waiting out there, like a hunter in a blind,
He waited there just for me,
He poured two cups of coffee,
We chatted and had a chance to unwind.
Thursday, January 12, 2023
THE PREENER
My buddy Birdie liked to preen,
Birdie was a preening machine,
No matter what the weather,
Every Birdie feather,
Was pecked free of lice, and then licked clean.
Monday, December 26, 2022
The Runny One Is In The Soup
I had four chickens in my coup,
They all could do the hula hoop,
I needed one for chicken soup,
I picked the chicken that peed it's poop,
That one was the outcast of the group.
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