FLOWERS FOR ALLEN RON

I bought some red roses, for my best mate, Allen Ron,

He lies out in the graveyard, next to his brother, Jon,

They were quite a bro pair,

Both were nerdy, and square,

I'm sure they've rotted away, for it's decades, they're gone.

OUR DATE: ONLY TWO

I made some special, chicken fondue,

I only had enough, just for two,

But, you wanted more,

So, I tripped to the store,

When I got back, you had left, boohoo.  

CONSUMING CORN WITH FRIENDS

Four dudes, sitting by some flames at the beach, were eating sweet corn,

After fire toasting, they used butter and salt, to adorn,

It was corn stuck on cobs,

Drippings made all dudes slobs,

They went back to their town lives, where the next working day is born.

ELYSIUM LIVES IN MY CHICKEN COUP

My  bestest friend Elysium, went to take a withdrawal from their bank,

Elysium lost all of their money, because the bank was in the tank,

The bank made zero credit, mortgage loans,

Invested in refurbished, flip flop phones, 

Broke, Elysium moved into my chicken coup, although the smell is rank.

I WISH UPON THE SERPENT

There is a big, mighty, green sea serpent, and his name is Moe,🐉

He swims alongside everywhere, my little boat will go,🚣

Sometimes I get rowboat tired,

I then wish the beast, whom I've admired,

Would push or pull my boat along, so I would not have to row..

WHAT'S SITTING IN MY WILLOW, WITH A CRUMPET AND A TEA?

There was an Anglo-Saxon, sitting in my willow tree,

He was nibbling on a crumpet, and sipping on some tea,

I asked him if his crumpet tasted good,

He said, "it tastes like wormy, willow wood",

I didn't ask him about his drink; I thought I'd let it be.

DOWN THE FLUTE ROAD WITH PAN

I bought a beautiful flute from Mr. Pan,

I cannot play it, the way Mr. Pan can,

I squeak and squawk,

He makes his talk,

I became Pan's roadie, and I drive Pan's van.

I'm An Unappreciated Baker, So Screw Them

I made a pie full of strawberries, but the berries were not ripe,

The pie was extremely tangy, and everyone had to gripe,

That's the last pie,

Until I die,

Instead of feeding the family, I'll relax, and smoke my pipe.

BFF BLUE PIG

My bestie, blue pig, got all covered with the mud,

I set him down in a tub of hot soapy sud,

He let on a big, loud squeal,

Like a braked Chevy wheel,

The water was too hot, and boiled my best bud.

MELON, MEAT AND CORN

I had a watermelon, and I cut the melon into three,

One piece for my dog Lindsey, and the other two pieces, for me,

Then I ate a spiral ham,

My dog Lindsey, just got spam,

Then I shared my last can of corn, and Lindsey was tail-wag happy.

DEAD WITH POODLE NED

My universe collapsed down on my head,

It was my dog coup; I knew I was dead,

I was in doggy heaven,

With my bestie hound, Kevin,

And my enemy, a Poodle, named Ned.

THE GARY PAIR

Gary the dentist and Gary the house fly,

Roomed together in a townhouse in the sky,

Once Dr. Gary copped a tude,

So flying Gary got rude,

He pooped on the fresh eggs, Dr. Gary did fry.

WILL SLEEP WHEN ONE IS DEAD

My little puppy stayed up all night with his best frog, friend Fred,

I told them to sleep; puppy said that he'd sleep when he was dead,

Next day, puppy was very tired,

I gave him sugar; he got wired,

Puppy ran around in circles, and fell sleepy, into bed.

THE GOOD NEIGHBOR (NOT)

I bought four used tires for my Chevy pickup truck,

My neighbor had a nail gun, so I was out of luck,

The neighbor punctured each tire,

Set my whole pickup on fire,

I sued him in court, but did not get a single buck.

DELETING MY CHILDHOOD APPS

I had so many downloads from the app downloading store,

I had to delete my old favs, before downloading more,

I deleted my app for Pong,

Space Invaders, Tetris and Kong,

After deleting my old games, my soul felt very poor.

FRED THE RED HAS GONE TO THE BAY

I had to box and bury my bestest friend, Fred,

My favorite goldfish, only he was more red,

He's now swimming today,

In a heavenly bay,

With all my other goldfish that I have found dead.

WHAT ATE MY PRETTY BEAR

I was delirious, and had a real bad scare,

A wolverine attacked and ate my pretty bear,

My bear I called  Honey,

He was nice, and funny,

That bad wolverine caused me sadness and despair.

INKY IN THE DEEP

When Inky my pet octopus died,

His friend Boris, the bear cried and cried

Down my new toilet bowel,

Went Inky's remains and soul,

To the septic, Inky had a nice ride.

I FOUND MY FAMILY IN MY TEA

I found a sea horse swimming in my instant tea,

I really do not know how he got there, to be,

I put him in a glass bowl,

So he could stretch out his soul,

I now have a family, my sea horse and me.

THE LITTLE GREEN WARLOCK

There was a little green warlock, living in an oak tree,

He was always placing mean spells, upon my mates and me,

One day he chanced to come inside,

The little bar, where we have pride,

He then beat us all at darts, for a dart player was he.