MY INVESTMENT STRATEGY? APPARENTLY, IT IS TO LOSE

None of my AI stocks have not done very good,

Should have invested in a cord of firewood,

At least I'd be warm,

During the spring storm,

I will have to move to a low rent neighborhood.

A SQUAT GUIDE FOR THE UNEMPLOYED

The economy is as repulsive as gray, boogered snot,15

With no money for rent, I find vacant homes, for a quick squat,14

Sometimes, there is a find of some food,

For humans, cats or dogs, I'm not rude,

Sometimes I find a real classy place, like one with a Roombot.

THE EYEBALL AND THE STRING BEANS

Prices are going high, high, high as my small wages go low, low, low,

Things are looking dire, the kids want groceries, but I have no doe,

I begged for some charity,

Was told nothing is for free,

For a three pound sack of string beans, I sold an eyeball, kidney and toe.

OTTO AND HIS LITTLE CAR, AND THE DEALERSHIP

Otto bought a brand new car, but it wasn't nearly big enough,

When Otto went to the grocery store, he didn't have room for stuff,

He had food for just half his kids,

The others had to hit the skids,

Otto tried taking back his car, but the dealer was mean and tough.

WHEN I BOUGHT THE WHOLE BAR A ROUND LIMERICK

When I figured my finances were solid and sound,
I decided to buy the whole bar a round,
But I came up real short,
And, the bar keep no sport,
I still remember how hard he could pound.