BLOWING SNOW, AND KIN IN THE TIN

The snow piled up on top of the roof, and the whole darn roof came caving in,

It made a horrible, terrifying noise, because the roof was made of tin,

We got more wind blow,

And, in blew more snow

The family is not doing  bad, but we're still missing a couple of kin.

FACE VS THE MAPLE TREE

I ran my new bicycle into a big maple tree,

I lost all my front teeth, and some stored brain cell history,

In the hospital bed, I bled,

From the gaping holes in my head,

I hope that I heal fast, so back to biking I will be.

MY SOLAR LAMP AND THE GRIZZLY BEAR, LIMERICK

I dropped my solar lamp into the lake, while forest camping, 

Now I fear the inner wires will need major revamping,

In the dark tent, my body, I lay,

Hoping for a quick, sun rising day,

Because I fear a grizzly bear, is outside my tent, stamping.

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MISSED THE VLOG MOMENT

I sat fast down on a fat frog on a log,

The messy remains were lapped up by my dog,

After my pooch ate frog slop,

Pooch went hop, hop, hop, hop, hop,

Wish I'd videoed the action for a vlog.

AT THE END I AM PILES

I fell off a cliff, and looked down at big, sharp, nasty stones,

I knew that soon upon them, I'd be bleaching my broke bones,

Then I saw a tiger,

A lion and a liger,

I knew I'd soon be in scat piles, with scat pile tones.

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CONFUSING A SPOON WITH A FORK: MISTAKES HAVE CONSEQUENCES

I threw a spoon into the air, and a fork came down upon my head,

It stuck deep into my skull, and I started to become really dead,

The biggest hurt came at first,

That pain was the very worst,

I just hope they bury me deep enough, so the coyote won't get fed.

KABOOM JACK IS BACK IN SPIRIT.

Jack was in a real dark room, and smelled foul gas, greatly leaking,

Jack decided to light up a match, to go gas leak seeking,

Jack lit up the room,

KABOOMADY BOOM! 

Now at a weekly seance, through mediums, Jack is speaking.

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THE SQUIRREL HAD TO MAKE HIS NUT

The squirrel had to make his nut, and his nut was at the top of the big tree,

The squirrel had to pay all his bills, because the life of a squirrel, ain't free,

A quick climb up the big pine,

The squirrel would be debt fine,

The squirrel slipped, and fell from the tree top, now a big hospital nut, has he.

I'M SLEEPING IN DITCH WATER, AND IT'S FULL OF SCUM

I drove my small foreign built, coup car, off the side of the road,

Which is sad, because my little car doubles, as my abode,

A deep, wet ditch mess,

Is my new address,

The car is half underwater, and I'm too broke to get towed.

THE TIRE SWING WAS NOT MY THING

I had a tire swing, roped to the branch of an oak tree,

It wasn't fancy, but the swing was fun, and it was free,

When I fell off, and down I went,

I broke my woodwind, clarinet,

I also broke my neck and arm, and skinned up my right knee.

APARTMENT FIRE, BEAN SUPPER PROSPECTS? DIRE

All of my big brain was completely locked-in,

On getting some sweet, baked beans, out of a tin,

It's was a small, rusty can

The opener ran, and ran,

There was a fire, now I'll not get my din.

MILK+ MEOW+MOLE=KITTIES.

Dominick had a really pretty milk cow,

She made lots of milk for Dom's cat named, Meow,

Meow shared her milk bowl,

With her tom cat named, Mole,

Soon there were six kittens, and Dom knew not how.

BLEEDING OUT A CRICKET HOLE

I was hunting bugs for my dinner, something good to cook,

I stepped on an empty cricket shell, and that's all it took,

The shell cut, so wide and deep,

No tear fluids, could I keep,

I feared blood seeping through the gash, and so I could not look.

MAMA SAID THERE WILL BE DAYS...

Benny had a chocolate bar, in the back pocket of his white pants,

Benny wanted to go birthday party, with mama, cousins, and aunts,

But the dark bar melted in the back,

Looked like a diarrhea attack,

Benny still wants to birthday party, but his mama says, he can'ts.

IT WAS EAR POPPING COLD

After Benny played outside in the cold snow,

His nose got so stuffed up, Benny could not blow,

The blowback popped his ears,

Then he shed many tears,

As off to the hospital, he had to go.

DON'T CUT YOUR FINGERS OFF, WHEN YOU TRIM YOUR BEARD

I tried wearing a real long, silvery beard,

It was shiny and looked unnatural, weird,

It made me cough,

I cut it off,

I cut my finger, and my eyes really teared.

FACE ICE

I slipped on some black ice and fell on my pretty face,

My face got deep, dark scratches, and I got a neck brace,

So be careful out there,

For the ice does not care,

If you're a nice puppy, or a psychotic nut case.

MY EARS GOT A BATH IN THE BAY

I once had two large facial organs, some call ears,

I lost them fishing out on the crowded, bay piers,

For an entire day,

Fish hooks flew round my way,

I felt nothing, because I was full of malt beers.

MY MUSIC GOES TO THE MOON

My lunar lander fell to the moon, and had a big, total crash,

I didn't pay attention, I was ear mellowing, to Johnny Cash,

On an alien world of woe,

My bones were broke and crushed, head to toe,

Of earth, I wondered, who would claim my Country Western music stash.

I SKIPPED

I fell toward the wood floor when I slipped,

My shirt caught on a nail and it ripped,

My landing was hard,

It caught me off guard,

So, the rest of my day I just skipped