LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
accidents
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
accidents
.
Show all posts
Monday, December 16, 2024
MY MUSIC GOES TO THE MOON
My lunar lander fell to the moon, and had a big, total crash,
I didn't pay attention, I was ear mellowing, to Johnny Cash,
On an alien world of woe,
My bones were broke and crushed, head to toe,
Of earth, I wondered, who would claim my Country Western music stash.
Wednesday, November 6, 2024
I SKIPPED
I fell toward the wood floor when I slipped,
My shirt caught on a nail and it ripped,
My landing was hard,
It caught me off guard,
So, the rest of my day I just skipped
Saturday, November 2, 2024
WARNING: DON'T TOUCH A DOWN ELECTRICAL WIRE WITH A RAKE
I rolled up my very long sleeves,
When I went out to rake some leaves,
Raked up under a pine,
A down electric line,
At my funeral, the wife grieves.
Tuesday, October 8, 2024
WHY I WAS TENTED BY THE ER
I ate way too much, so I thought it caused me to be sick,
Then I remembered, I swallowed a pointy, thin toothpick,
To the ER I was sent,
Stayed in an oxygen tent,
I found a tv remote for my fingers to click.
Thursday, July 18, 2024
MY SOLAR LAMP AND THE GRIZZLY BEAR, LIMERICK
I dropped my solar lamp into the lake, while forest camping,
Now I fear the inner wires will need major revamping,
In the dark tent, my body, I lay,
Hoping for a quick, sun rising day,
Because I fear a grizzly bear, is outside my tent, stamping.
Wednesday, July 17, 2024
THE SURVIVOR
I am a sea captain, and I sailed on the sea,
My darn ship hit a rock, and sank down, beneath me,
That left me in the water,
I swam like a sea otter,
All passengers and crew drowned, I survived, lucky.
Friday, July 5, 2024
BILLY SLAMS AND JIMMY SPILLS
Jimmy let out a snore,
Billy slammed the backdoor,
Jimmy jumped up,
Spilled his big cup,
Leaving coffee all over the floor.
Thursday, July 4, 2024
A SPARKLER RUINED MY 4TH
A sparkler got caught in my hair,
It burned until my head was all bare,
I went home, ate some soup,
Then sat out on my stoop,
I was upset, and I needed some air.
Thursday, June 6, 2024
BROKEN SKI AND CHEEKS
Jim's jet ski crashed on a rock, by the shore,
His jet ski, he can ride it, never more,
It's messy, it's bad,
Terminated, sad,
Jim's lower checks are injured, very sore.
Friday, April 26, 2024
GERTY, THE DIRTY LITTLE DOG
My Gerty, the dirty little dog,
Jumped on my Android, and tried to vlog,
She's still my best buddy,
But, her paws were muddy,
My Android screen is covered with fog.
Wednesday, April 17, 2024
MY GENTLE TENDER FOOT AND I
My gentle Tender Foot and I,
Loved to go up, up, up, and fly,
We flew a round balloon,
That rose like a full moon,
One day we crashed hard, but didn't die.
Tuesday, April 16, 2024
FRED GOES TO?
There was an old fella known by most as, Fred,
He was found face down in a stream, drowned and dead,
Fred hit his big head,
On a hard rock bed,
Fred's somewhere drinking moonshine, with cousin Ted.
Tuesday, April 9, 2024
MY GENTLE TENDER FOOT
My wonderful, gentle, tender foot,
Worked long shifts on chimneys, clearing soot,
On the roof one day,
He slid fast away,
He now feeds a flower at the root.
41024
Thursday, March 28, 2024
THE HAPPY EASTER BUNNIES
Bunnies were doing their business, right outside my screen door,
One thing that's true about bunnies, they are always making more,
The bunnies and me,
Let each other be,
Except the ones that are roadkill, become my main winter store.
Saturday, March 23, 2024
JERRY AND THE CANDY CANE
There once was a story teller, named Jerry,
In his brain, many stories he would carry,
Jerry lost part of his brain,
From a falling candy cane,
That deep in his skull, it did bury.
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
WASHING MACHINE BLUES
My washing machine flooded the floor,
A soap river flowed out my backdoor,
The wet wood started to a cave,
Made the crawlspace its grave,
My landlord saw the mess, and did roar.
Friday, March 8, 2024
YOU CAN WADDLE FOR FREE
My bicycle got ran over by a big truck,
A good fix would cost me many a saw buck,
My bike's in the trash,
I saved lots of cash,
Now I just walk, more like waddle, like a duck.
Saturday, March 2, 2024
THE HILL OF THE BIG, BAD BOULDER
The enormous, big, bad boulder, came rolling down the hill,
It took out my camper, it was a total camper kill,
I had not any place to stay,
Slept in my sleep bag on hard clay,
I was in both grief and pain, but had no aspirin pill.
Wednesday, February 28, 2024
KABOOM JACK IS BACK IN SPIRIT.
Jack was in a real dark room, and smelled foul gas, greatly leaking,
Jack decided to light up a match, to go gas leak seeking,
Jack lit up the room,
KABOOMADY BOOM!
Now at a weekly seance, through mediums, Jack is speaking.
22824
THE CHOO CHOO CRUSHED MY PLANE
My little plane got hit by a chocho train, and my plane got all messed up,
I was not able to make it home tonight, and I did not get my sup,
I got a ticket and went to jail,
There I will stay; I cannot make bail,
I just hope I can fix my plane, so I can fly up, up, up, up.
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