JERRY THE BOUNCER

Jerry had some weird, but mostly mundane work nights,

Jerry was a bar bouncer, and he bounced all fights,

He threw out the punks,

Called cabs for the drunks,

At last, He locked the place down, and turned out the lights.

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CLANCY LEARNED WINE MAKING IN PRISON

Clancy made some of his famous prison toilet wine,

He forgot to flush the toilet; it was not fine,

The wine had little floaters,

Mostly, they were brown coaters,

So I didn't drink so much, when at Clancy's I did dine.

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FREE BOOZE ON NEW YEARS, AND MY BOSSES STILL HATE ME

New Years Eve I had over all my bosses,

And, they drank down all my sauces,

My party got praise,

But I didn't get a raise,

My alcohol bribes turned into loses.

BALLAD OF THE WINTER WONDER BAND

They were called the Winter Wonder Band,

They Played polka across all the land,

People who danced,

Were soul enhanced,

Gorging on cabbage and trout that they canned.

BOBBY UNINVITRD

The bears threw a New Year's party, but Bob was not invited,

Last time he got stinking drunk, and the toilet, he blighted,

After those puke filled nights,

Donny got no invites,

A bar in Big Rapids is where Bobby was last sighted.

DONNY DO NOT SIT, OR ELSE YOU'LL HEAR A RIP

Because Donny's diet he darn, done quit,

Donny's massive girdle did not quite fit,

So Donny's fab brand new suit,

Was a tailor's troubleshoot,

The suit fit; long as Donny did not sit.

GRIEVE AND HEAVE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE

The big ball was dropped on New Year's Eve,🕛🎉🎉🎉🔔

It crushed a guy below, named Steve,🚶

There was not time for us to grieve,😢

The drinks were gone, and it was time to leave,🍷🍸🍹🍻

We all went home to have a heave.   🚽

A LEPRECHAUN RODE HIS GOOSE TO TOWN

A leprechaun rode his goose to town,

His goose to town,

His goose to town,

A Leprechaun rode his goose to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his bunny to town,

His bunny to town,

His bunny to town,

A leprechaun rode his bunny to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his turkey to town, 

His turkey to town,

His turkey to town,

A leprechaun rode his turkey to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his hamster to town,

His hamster to town,

His hamster to town,

A leprechaun rode his hamster to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his lamb to town,

His lamb to town,

His lamb to town,

A leprechaun rode his lamb to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his tuna to town,

His tuna to town,

His tuna to town,

A leprechaun rode his tuna to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his chicken to town,

His chicken to town,

His chicken to town,

A leprechaun rode his chicken to town,

To the leprechaun party,

 

A leprechaun rode his goat to town,

His goat to town,

His goat to town,

A leprechaun rode his goat to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his turtle to town,

His turtle to town,

His turtle to town,

A leprechaun rode his turtle to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his chipmunk to town,

His chipmunk to town,

His chipmunk to town,

A leprechaun rode his chipmunk to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his gopher to town,

His gopher to town,

His gopher to town,

A leprechaun rode his gopher to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his parrot to town,

His parrot to town,

His parrot to town,

A leprechaun rode his parrot to town,

To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his black bear to town,

His black bear to town,

His black bear to town,

A leprechaun rode hs black bear to town,

And, the bear ate everyone at the party.

WHAT I DO DURING COVID LOCKDOWN

I like to eat my pork,

I like to eat my beans,

I like eating two slices of bread,

With tuna in betweens,

I like to eat cupcake,

I like my tatters too,

I once cut them up with carrots,

And, cooked them in a stew,

I like my apple cider,

I blended it with beer,

Grandad went and drank too much,

That's why grandad isn't here.

BASEMENT PARTY OR LAWN JARTS

No one would party with Marty,

Because his basement always smelled farty,

So, Marty spiffed up the air, 

Put on clean underwear,

Still, all stayed outside playing lawn jarty.

MY PUPPY QUINTON

I went to a party to celebrate Pride,

My puppy Quinton insisted, he stay by my side,

He perceives relationship dangers,

When I mingle with strangers,

And, he yanks on his leash to pull me from their side.