I BOUGHT A DIESEL PICKUP TRUCK; WHAT A DEAL

I just bought a big, snow white, diesel, pickup truck, and I got it incredibly, super cheap,

I thought something might be wrong with the cheap vehicle I bought, but it starts, and the horn goes beep,

Then I went to buy some local, diesel gas,

It was so expensive, I wanted to pass,

I know I'll be giving up my delivery job, and will walk to my barber college class.

THE TAIL OF DALE LET DALE SET SAIL

I had this neighbor, down the road, his name was Dale,

Dale was born with a long, curly, monkey-type tail,

Someone said in public, it looked wrong,

Wrote about it in a country song,

Dale sued and won millions, bought a yacht, and set sail.

PAYING FOR MY KID'S EDUCATION, AND THEN SOME

My eldest son, he is in college, and he is one bad seed,

He is always needing money, and my bank account doth bleed,

He needs money for fancy clothes and car,

But with rich daddies, I am not on par,

I pay for every need, asking for more, displays his greed.

WHEN THERE IS EVIL IN THE PARK, PROTECT YOUR STEAK

Sidney the unicorn, came upon 3 witches dancing and chanting,  in the city park,

The witches began drooling over the unicorn, because other meats had become stark,

The witches said, that if they could carve off Sidney, a stake,

Then they would grant three wishes, that old Sidney could then make,

Sidney took off, because he knew his steak was precious, and the witches' bargain, very dark.

ROY LIVED UNAWARE THAT THE UNIVERSE IS NOT FAIR

When I walk in the woods, sometimes I see a ferocious bear,

The bear is often eating someone, for whom I do not care,

Last week it was my neighbor, Roy,

This week it was his dog and boy,

Roy's wife is my mistress; I'm so glad the universe ain't fair.

BERNEDA

Berneda saw a sunfish, swimming near her imagined feet,

Berneda wanted to grab the sunfish, and eat the sunfish meat,

Berneda is my big, green snake,

She's my only friend at the up north lake,

Berneda  imagines she's human like me, so she can grab and take.

SENIOR LIVING FOR A MAN WITH STYLE

Denny went into senior living, because that lifestyle he could fit,

He was provided all of his meals, and given a brand new shaving kit,

Denny found a girlfriend, and they would spoon,

They were both all tired out by lunch, at noon,

After lunch Denny took some of his pills, then he would try to sleep a bit.

OVER 800,000 VISITS IN THE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER 2026

September was the biggest month ever for Limericks And Stuff visitations. We had over 800,000 visits from friends here in the United States, and friends around the world.  My birthday is coming up.on October 4th, and I can't think of a better birthday present than the support and encouragement  I've received over the years, from all of you.

I want to thank everyone for coming to this website, and other websites that I write for and/or curate.  

My blog sites do not require a subscription.  They are free to browse and enjoy.  "Limericks And Stuff", is the flagship blog, but there are other sites with fictional work, and non-fictional random government press releases on topics like crime, space exploration and general information.  All sites are free to browse and read.  Please enjoy the blog library I have built to share.

THE EMPTY PAPER CHASE

I just got the highest, bestest grade, I've ever gotten on a paper at my high school,

It was a very solid "C", I figured my geezer teacher gave me a "C" for "cool",

Except for my name, I left the entire page blank,

I figured my grade always ended up in the tank,

But teacher wrote, "better a page be blank, than trying to decipher ramblings of a fool". 

WE VAMPIRES LOVE OUR NOODLES AND BLOOD, AND SOME SNUFF

When I became a vampire, I laid around on the couch,

When the sun would come up, I'd get a very severe burn, what an ouch,

I still love making my ramen,

Soaked in fresh blood, is most common,

I often have dinner guests; after we sup, I share snuff from my pouch.

TEARS FOR THE YOUNG TRUMPETEER

The trumpeteer blew his shiny coronet, while he was marching in the high school band, in Ire,

Ire is a tiny town in Michigan, a place where heavy set people want to retire,

The furniture and floors are built extra strong,

They can take thousand lb loads, what could go wrong?

The young trumpeteer suddenly stopped blowing his coronet; clogged arteries made him expire.