THE BUTCHER FEEDS THE TOWN AND REMEMBERS HIS VICTIMS WITH A SONG

Our famous singing butcher, grinds hamburger all day long,

While making grinds he sings his notable, town butcher song,

"To all the snakes and bats,

The mice and the rats,

I feed the town, but I know what I did to you was wrong." 

PRETTY ANGEL IN THE SCARECROW

I dreamt I was a pretty angel, standing in a field of corn,

When I awoke, I was a scarecrow, and with rags I was adorn,

I saw corn bent over, none were straight,

A coming storm, foretold my fate,

A spinning cloud roared through the cornfield, making this scarecrow, unborn.  

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YETI, YETI IN THE WOODS

Yeti, Yeti in the woods,
You broke into my cabin, and ate my canned goods,
You are just one evil dude,
Because you stole my favorite food,

I love my tuna from the sea,
I work hard to have it just for me,
I'd gladly give you my musk rat pelt,
If I could have my tuna melt.

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THE TWISTED WORM

We can't avoid the twisting worm,

 It lies down underneath,

 In decay it brings to term,

 The creature and the leaf,

 The worms kingdom is undiscovered, 

All dead-fall hides his race, 

Once gone down nothing is recovered,

 Unless changed within the place, 

All life ends with a great dead-fall,

As the smell and rot affirms,

But from the decay some shoots grow tall, 

Fed by feces from the worms.

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I REPLACED MY BEST FRIEND, AN HOUR AFTER HE DIED

I have a new handsome, guppy friend, his name is Dave, 

My last guppy, named Ted, got a toilet bowl, flush grave,

Ted choked to death on a fat, fruit fly,

That was no way for my friend to die,

Dave should live a long life, if he just tries to behave.

TED CHOKED, NOW I'M ALONE

My fish bowl is so murky, a lonely murky like my sad, dead soul,

I use to have a guppy friend; he consumed fish food through his pie hole,

We were happy, little Ted and I,

Until I fed him a dead fruit fly,

Little Ted choked to death eating that fly, and my friend, the angels stole.

JIMMY FINALLY WENT TO A RETIREMENT HOME

Jimmy claimed he was growing old quite gracefully, but no one could really tell,

Most times when  someone conversed with Jimmy, he'd tell them to go jump in a well,

Then one cold, December  day,

Jimmy fell and there he lay,

Jimmy was blowing snow; down he did go; in his urn on the mantle he dwell.

FAMILY FUN IN THE NEW BASEMENT SEWER POOL

The rain caused sewage water to back up into my basement today,

Which gave my seven kids an indoor pool, where they could swim, surf and play,

The basement was six feet under cold water,

Turds and urine made it seem a bit hotter,

The kids did a  splish splash, but showered before they went beddy bye, way.

WARNING:  DON'T GO SWIMMING IN BASEMENT SEWER WATER, BECAUSE OF ELECTRICAL SHOCK, AND THE PLAGUE!😷💀