THE PODCAST SALES LIMERICK

There once was a podcaster, and his name was Hot Stew,

Hot Stew started podcasting, to have something to do,

He made dollars in millions,

Then came all of Stew's billions,

Online he sold enemas, both refurbished and new.

POLAR VORTEX LOSS

A big polar vortex came down after me,

That's why I'm buried in an ice and snow sea,

I've dug all about,

Found no real way out,

This spring they'll find my carcass; that's how it be.     

I tried making a fire, but have no firewood,

The furniture is metal, so that does me no good,

My clothing is quite warm,

Holding out for this storm,

I will last dream of my babe, walking old Hollywood.

When I thawed, I was buried deep in the ground,

I heard my babe crying, a faint, fading sound,

Forever is lonely, I understand,

Just darkness and quiet,

No sky, ocean or land.

 

Note: "Sweet Betsy Of Pike Melody"

I WILL BE ONE WITH THE LAWN

The doctor said to me, soon I'd be all gone,

I would probably not make it, until dawn,

Tainted preserve spread,

Was making me dead,

I'll soon be greening up a small plot of lawn.

I'm Comfortable, Except For The Tree

Someone placed a pretty flower above, on my worn headstone,

My body is so rotted, all that's left is my jaw bone,

My ghost sometimes will prance,

And, around my grave I'll dance,

The tree that has grown straight out of me, will often drop a cone.