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Showing posts with label BREAKFAST. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BREAKFAST. Show all posts

Monday, May 29, 2023

BIRD FLU

I eat mostly the legs off chicken,
I eat down to the bones, where I find slim pickin,
I drink applesauce,
Till I'm sick and toss,
Bird and fruit cause my belly to sicken.




Wednesday, May 24, 2023

GRANDMA WANTED THE BOTTLE, NOT TWO FINGERS

Grandma was upset to see an apple worm in her apple juice,
I two fingered out the worm so grandma would drink, that I deduce,
I was out of luck this day,
My dirty fingers, that's all I'll say,
Grandma switched to apple brandy, and became a silly, giddy, goose.




Monday, May 15, 2023

CRACKING PORCELAIN

It was cold in the morning, so Ben boiled some rice,
To give it good flavor, Ben buttered it twice,
To give his bowels some torque,
Ben added cans of beans and pork,
Ben spent the day exploding on his toilet device.

Friday, February 24, 2023

FULL DIAPERS COOKED IN A CAR, AND BREAKFAST

My pancakes smell like fungi feet,
So no one would give them an eat,
My eggs, no one would chance,
Because of a smell circumstance,
Like diapers, cooked on a carseat.

Thursday, June 16, 2022

BAD DAY WITH SALTY YOLK

I had me some eggs with runny yolk,
Washed them down with Diet Coke,
Ate 2 lbs of salt, had a stroke,
My driver's license got a revoke,
Ran a light, and garbage pail I broke.

Friday, June 3, 2022

TOAST TOPPINGS

I put some bacon on my toast,
With a banana and hunk of roast,
And a chunk of cheese,
Then ice cream to please,
Topped with cherries, which I love the most.


Tuesday, May 17, 2022

DENISE AND BACON LIMERICKS

There was a girl named Denise,
Her favorite food was bacon grease,
As for the bacon,
She found it chewy and forsaken,
But the tasty aspects of grease gave her peace.

Denise loved her bacon grease it is true,
She liked to sniff it like model airplane glue,
With her sister's she'd wage war,
During breakfast and times more,
Denise loved bacon grease rancid or new.


Saturday, April 23, 2022

BREAKFAST POST ROAST URINE

I went to do an internet post,
While in thought I burned my toast,
It was my last slice of bread,
That was not stale, moldy dead,
My coffee tastes like a urinal roast.



Monday, April 18, 2022

BOREDOM IS TWO BOWLS OF OATMEAL

So I could find my day through,
I ate an oatmeal bowl times two,
I've a long list of to do,
Starting with a dog walk and poo, 
Then, I'll be milking old Sue, 
The cow that don't moo.
Then, a night cap at Pub Lou,
Each day ends, nothing new,
Yes, lifelong nightmares do come true,









Sunday, September 26, 2021

The Bacon Grease Murder

I fried my pancakes the best I canned,
In bacon grease I watched them expand,
I feed my guy lots of grease,
Though, it clogs his ticker piece,
But, life insurance I understand.

Monday, August 2, 2021

MY GRITTY EGGS

My scrambled eggs ain't pretty,
They are mostly grits and gritty,
When you barf, you'll have my pity,
Then, you'll complain on Face and Twitty,
As to my cooking, you'll be quitty.


Saturday, February 6, 2021

I TRIPPED MY ROBOT NAMED SAM

My new robot's name is Sam,
He made me a breakfast with raw eggs and fried ham,
But, the silverware wasn't clean,
And, I became rather mean,
When, I tripped Sam and he fell over, bam!