AFTER MY LAST TRADE, I DRANK DITCH WATER

All currencies went crashing, even the dollar and crown,

All of the stocks and bonds I own, went down, down, down, down, down,

My heart blew a right gasket,

They stuffed me in a casket,

They buried me in a ditch; I wore my funeral gown.

MY INVESTMENT STRATEGY? APPARENTLY, IT IS TO LOSE

None of my AI stocks have not done very good,

Should have invested in a cord of firewood,

At least I'd be warm,

During the spring storm,

I will have to move to a low rent neighborhood.

DEALING WITH MY FINANCIAL CRASH

All financial schemes are doing a crumble,

While all of my stocks, tumble, tumble, tumble,

I'm vacating, the here,

Gonna drink some root beer,

And, hide, covered in my bed, feeling humble.

THE GRISLY BEAR CUISINE

There were two old grisly bears, and they lived out in the woods,

They grew their own potatoes, and hunted Red Ridding Hoods,

They also liked their red beans,

And occasional sardines,

The bears often shopped the farm market, for fresh garden goods.

WHEN THE MARKETS SINK DOWN, I AM SAD

I went online to check on my investments in the stocks,

Instead of investing, I should have just watched the Tic Toks, 

My whole portfolio sank down,

Going underwater, to drown,

I would have sold earlier today, if I watched the clocks.

I ATE BARGIN KIPPERS

I found some fresh caught kippers on clearance sale,   

They had not been cleaned, and were in a tin pail,  

They were kinda smelly,

Some were a bit swelly,

I cooked them in sauce, and chased them down with ale.