THE ZOMBIE RECKONING

Now that we zombies have won the last of all wars,

We are eating the living to settle old scores,

The living killed zombies, like dad,

That made me incredibly sad,

But, crackers, brains and marshmallows, make yummy s'mores.  

THE BEAST OF SUMER VALLEY

The beast that lives in Sumer Valley,

Eats the peasants, quite a tally,

He will jelly them for toast,

Or for dinner, a lamb roast,

With pitchforks and torches, the peasants will rally.

MOUSE BE NIMBLE, MOUSE BE QUICK, OR IN THE GLUE TRAP YOU WILL STICK

Little Ginger was a furry,

She was a mouse not in a hurry,

She moved slowly, tap tap,

Got stuck in a glue trap,

Then the furry started to worry.

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THE HATCHING OF KAYZEARS THE DRAGON

Kayzears the dragon popped out of an egg,

As soon as she popped, she ate my left leg,

The kids hid in a box,

Kayzears was smart as a fox,

After snacking on children, she scarfed down my wife Peg.

MOMMY DIDN'T LIKE THE GOAL OF THE TROLL

My sister was dating a troll,

Making more trolls, was his only goal,

Mommy chased him away,

With her special stare-ray,

That cut into his dark, ugly soul.

TERRY STINKY BUG

There once was a jumping stinky bug, named Terry,

He jumped and would poop on every blueberry,

Terry did it all really quick,

So, no matter which one you'd pick,

Each one was bitter sweet, but texture would vary.

DRINKING WITH MONSTERS WITH RUNT

There was a bloody, forest beast, who lived behind my chicken shack,

And, every one of my neighbors, swears he did them, an attack,

So, the beast I had to hunt,

Took my hunting dog, named Runt,

We tracked the beast to the pub, he bought a round, so we kicked back.

BREATH MINTS MATTER

Jimmy gave Joe some breath mints, and insisted Joe should take them soon,

Because werewolves were attracted to bad breath, and it was a full moon,

But, Joe was cheap,

Thought Jimmy, a creep,

Then Jimmy turned into a werewolf, and Joe and Jimmy began to spoon.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH A WEREWOLF, IT'S COMPLICATED

Werewolves are never any fun,

They just eat you, and leave you, they're done,

For a true love, a friend,

Wouldn't consume you in the end,

Then off to another they run.

THE GNOME RIND AND DINED

I went deep into the forest and what the heck did I find?

A fat little gnome chewing on a watermelon rind,

The watermelon was of course stolen,

But it was already in the gnome's colon,

I ordered him to pay for it, but the gnome, he declined.

SKEETERS

I've never seen so many big skeeters,

Some of them are as long as eight meters,

Why they grow so darn big,

No scientist can fig,

We must stop them, for the human race teeters.

IN MY STARS BENEATH THE SNOW

The creatures plot against me; those that live beneath the snow,

They are watching my every move; when I come and go,

The snakes, the rats, the bugs, the mice,

 Fured chipmunks, home to mange and lice,

They all plot my future, and arrange my stars of woe.

MY WAR WITH LEPRECHAUN (WAR OF THE DAISIES).

A leprechaun ate my garden of daisies,

When I saw my garden, I got the crazies,

So I grabs me a stick,

For that leprechaun, sick,

But, he tazered me first with some tazies.  

I SMELLED SOMETHING NASTY TO THE DRAGON, WILLIAM TELL

A dragon came to see me and said his name was William Tell,

I replied that my name was Anonymous, a troll that lived in the well,

He didn't speak French so good,

I don't, but wish I could,

I mainly speak in Trollebic, a language based on smell.

THE FOREST MONKEY FOX

There was a giant monkey fox sitting in the woods,

He was chewing on the bones of some Red Ridding Hoods,

And, boy those bones were good,

Best parts of any Red Ridding Hood,

But, Red Ridding eyeballs taste great in milk chocolate puds.

FLAT WORM INVASION

There was a flat worm named Jimmy,

And in Robert's tummy, he'd shimmy,

Jim's babies made Robert unwell,

The babies Robert did expel,

The babies found a home in big Timmy.

DAVE NEEDS BUG SPRAY, OR SOMETHING

Dave went and bought some used tights,

They were full of parasites,

On Dave's skin,

The sites dig in,

They squirm a little, then they bites.

DEMON SIT

There were old devils in the pit,

And they were taken a demon sit,

They cast their spells,

On Cosmic elves,

Then once done, they split.

I'M DECEAST

I have this big pet beast,

And he's expecting a big feast,

But all I have is yeast,

That's what he likes the least,

He ate me, now I'm deceast.

ELVES

Some elves live underneath my street,

They came and ate my parakeet,

She was nice and she was sweet,

I miss her melodic tweet,

I never thought of her, as meat.