CASTOR BEANS, AND THE UNSPOKEN DRESS CODE

My neighbor's been living on castor beans, for about, the last couple of years,

He's had the chocolate, backdoor trots, as attested to by most of his peers,

His professional peers have suggested,

That my neighbor's diet, be divested,

Alas, for work, my neighbor used a large  plug, which allayed backdoor, display fears.

MORNING OFFICE TREATS

Apple Fritters Monday is how the usual morning, work week starts,

Apple fritters are sweet and greasy, full of sour, fruity tart, tarts,

Fritters are an office win,

But seen as a fat, flab sin,

I like Peanut Brittle Tuesdays, but the brittle yields many farts.

CONSUMING CORN WITH FRIENDS

Four dudes, sitting by some flames at the beach, were eating sweet corn,

After fire toasting, they used butter and salt, to adorn,

It was corn stuck on cobs,

Drippings made all dudes slobs,

They went back to their town lives, where the next working day is born.

THE TERMINATOR AI, MADE ALL MY KIDS CRY

I received an email today, and it bid me goodbye,

It said that I got termed by the corporations AI,

I called a family meeting,

Made sure all were firmly seating,

I announced the bad news, which made everyone, eye cry.

TOMMY, MOMMY, ORIGAMI

When starting out and leaving home, whether you're a Tina or a Tommy,

You must begin looking for a rich, sugar daddy or sugar mommy,

Then ask them for a nice sports car,

An apartment, close by, not far,

Then make them cheap gifts, showing them you care, like clay pots or origami. 

SNOW REMOVAL, NOT

My old snowblower went on the fritz,

All its parts blew out in little bits,

When my blower wouldn't blow,

I shoveled the darn snow,

I shoveled a few feet, then I quits.

I ASKED FOR A VACATION, AND WAS TOLD WHERE TO GO

I told my boss, I was living in a simulation,

To heal and get real, I needed a nice long vacation,

He gave neither a laugh, nor smile,

Told me, out his door, I should file,

I shuffled back to my little, cubicle workstation. 

COB-CORN AND THE HAPPY DUDE

Uncle Lee scraped up all the gum, that people had chewed,

People left gum all over, and in places, so rude,

But, it gave Lee a paying job,

Then he could buy corn on the cob,

When Lee ate buttered cob-corn, he was one happy dude.

THE PAISLEY SUIT

To work, I wore my brand new paisley suit,

That very day, my boss gave me the boot,

He said never come back,

It was a permanent sack,

"Get your ugly suit out of here, now, scoot."

MY PRIORITIES ARE BOWLING AND BEER

I sleep away my afternoons,

I sleep away my mornings,

I sick call everyday to work,

Despite my bosses' warnings,

If my financials weren't dire,

I would call my boss and retire,

I would put time into what feels so right,

That is league bowling, at the bar all night.

RED CLAY TEETH

Jimmy got locked into flossing, and flossed his front teeth every day,

Jimmy thought flossing was iconic, but he lost his teeth anyway,

When Jimmy got the bad teeth news,

He walked back home in his deck shoes,

Then Jimmy quit his bad news dentist, and made some new teeth from red clay.

PRETTY ANGEL IN THE SCARECROW

I dreamt I was a pretty angel, standing in a field of corn,

When I awoke, I was a scarecrow, and with rags I was adorn,

I saw corn bent over, none were straight,

A coming storm, foretold my fate,

A spinning cloud roared through the cornfield, making this scarecrow, unborn.  

BRAIN CHIPS AND PRODUCTIVITY

I was admonished for working too slow,

The boss wanted me to go, go, go, go,

It caused me agonizing pain,

When he planted chips in my brain,

To make the boss more doe, doe, doe, doe.

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WORK A LOT, SLEEP A LOT

I washed my dishes, my laundry, my car, ta-da,

I polished the silver and wiped off the bar, rah-rah,

But, work is a trap,

Leads to an afternoon nap,

I awoke to see the big Northern Star, wah-wah.

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SOMEONE STINKS

At work Steve always wore a mask,

Even to do a simple task,

His workmate, Punk,

Smelled worse than skunk,

In wretched aromas, Punk did bask.

I GOT A JOB IN DAIRY OUT ON PLANET X

I was abducted by an alien that landed a ship from outer space,

I knew he/she was an alien because her/his eyes glowed on his/ her face,

She/he took me to a store/farm,

She/he offered me no harm,

But he/she said I'd be milking cows and stocking the dairy case.

BEN DOES THE SNOW

Ben's driveway was covered with snow,

Ben decided to give it a blow,

Ben is just a big slob,

He did one sloppy job,

Then he cleaned off the ice with a hoe.

SQUEAKY SQUIRES THRIFTY STORES 2

My employer, Squeaky Squires, owns a chain of grocery stores,

He sells expired groceries, and unto him the wealth, it pours,

I got titled head cashier,

 I'm the only one that's here,

My shift lasts from the opening, until the lockup of the doors.

THE BALLAD OF GRANGER

Granger was a kid, who was very poor,

He'd sit on the walkway in front of my store,

People tossed him dimes,

A quarter at times,

He's now worth a million, some say more.

I'M WORKING CHRISTMAS DAY

So my boss can island trip far away,

I have go to work on this Christmas Day,

I have to be like a cop,

And guard the pawn shop,

So no one breaks in, takes stuff, and not pay.