CONSUMING CORN WITH FRIENDS

Four dudes, sitting by some flames at the beach, were eating sweet corn,

After fire toasting, they used butter and salt, to adorn,

It was corn stuck on cobs,

Drippings made all dudes slobs,

They went back to their town lives, where the next working day is born.

I'M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME, FISHES

Tammy let everyone know that she was a G.O.A.T

The greatest of all time, at sailing a sailing boat,

Her jealous brother, Doug,

Pulled her big, sailboat plug,

Tammy sank down to Poseidon, and that's all she wrote.

I WISH UPON THE SERPENT

There is a big, mighty, green sea serpent, and his name is Moe,🐉

He swims alongside everywhere, my little boat will go,🚣

Sometimes I get rowboat tired,

I then wish the beast, whom I've admired,

Would push or pull my boat along, so I would not have to row..

TWO PEG LARRY, AND THE BIG BULL SHARK

I got attacked by a big bull shark, and he chewed off both of my legs,

My best buddy Rusty, found some hickory, and whittled me two pegs,

They call me Two Peg Larry,

Little kids think I look scary,

I can't get any job, so outside the bar, I sits, I whines, I begs.

THE GREAT BAY SERPENT.

There's a serpent living out in our great bay,

In the winter, that's where the serpent will stay,

Don't go out in a boat,

 He will sense where you float,

The serpent torments and eats boaters for play.

GOLDFISH RHONDA ADVENTURES

Goldfish Rhonda, walked on her tale, out of the sea,

She brought me gold, so I could wear bling and watch tv,

I made buttered popcorn,

She hung around till morn,

Then Goldfish Rhonda, took a cab to Manistee.

I WAS A CESSPOOL DIVER; NOT AN OLYMPIC SPORT

I went diving in a nasty cesspool, desperate to come clean,

It made my face all pucker up, so I used mamas Maybelline,

The cess got in my beautiful hair,

That's why my hair is no longer there,

I'll not enter a cesspool again, except in a submarine.

I EVOLVED AND WENT BACK TO.THE SEA

I woke up this morning without hands, arms or feet,

Instead, I had flippers; how am I supposed to eat?

I flopped down to the bay,

I feel better, I'd say,

Except, I'm sick of eating fish, and desire red meat.

LITTLE MEN WENT FISHING

Seven little men walked way out upon the frozen lake,

They had gone there to see how many fishies they could take,

Three of the men, they drowned,

Three more froze, searchers found,

The last little man went home, and had scrambled eggs and stake.

WOE UNTO THE BEARS

There were three bears, not use to woeing,

They traveled in a tin boat, by rowing,

They came to some falls,

They made, "Help, Help", calls,

Alas, over those falls they were going.

OLD SKEGGY RETURNS

The great monster in Skedgemog Lake,

The souls of innocents he take,

He feeds on flesh and never cake,

Old Skeggy the monster in Skedgemog Lake,

He's a giant turtle; so spins the yarn,

A giant snapper bigger than a barn,

His tail is as long,

As a ride at the carn,

He slurps down rattle snakes like spaghetti,

And, fishermen too,

Though many have seen him,

Survivors are few,

So, come on up to Michigan,

To Skegemog Lake,

Just to see if Old Skeggy,

Is real or a fake,

But, do not believe,

Those who scoff in scoff tone,

Or, Old Skeggey might eat you,

From skin to the bone.

 

MY HOME AND MY BOAT: ONE DON'T STAND, ONE DON'T FLOAT

The big rain storm hit so hard that my boat went sinkin',

My house collapsed down the hill, like the logs of Lincoln,

It rained over 10 inches today,

And, with the tidal wave off the bay,

I hope my insurer has a check, that it's inkin'.

THE DARDEVLE CAUGHT THE MONSTER

I used the mighty Dardevle to catch me a big fish,

It was an enormous pike, and was a bucket list wish,

It darn near snapped, my wire line,

But, an intervention divine,

A lightning strike on the pike, fried the fish for my dish.

THE FRAMING OF THE SHREW

I painted a picture of a little tiny shrew,

I did not have a frame, so that day I had to rue,

So, I built a frame myself,

Used the wood from an old shelf,

I still couldn't hang the picture, because I had no screw.

RAINBOWS, CLOWNS AND SODA BURPS

A rainbow got real close to the ground,

It's vibration made a humming sound,

The humming made my mind go clown,,

 I quickly drank my soda down,

Drinking soda causes burps, I found.

A BELLY FULL OF COW, AND STUFF

There was an alligator in my cow pond, and he ate every cow,

He ate my cats and rabbit, and he ate the dog that went "bow wow"

I set a trap,

But it was crap,

The gator ate my kids,and cousin, and my neighbor Rev. Dow.

AVOIDED LEACHES, BUGS, WORMS AND CRABS, BUT NOT FLIES

My towel was my little piece of paradise on the beach,

It held down beneath me the worm, bug, crab and blood sucking leach,

But then came the flies,

They molested my eyes,

Be extremely cautious at the beach, is the sermon I preach.

I SWAM 3 METERS

I swam 3 meters and sank down 4,

If I hadn't stopped swimming I would have sunk down more,

Of course, I'm a human,

I'm not a fish,

And, swimming makes my human parts feel very sore.

THE PIKE TOOK THE BLUEGILL BAIT

I went fishing for lunker bluegills at the bottom of the lake,

I knew a big fat earthworm was the bait that they'd take,

But along came a pike and the bluegills swam away,

And the pike grabbed my worm and I thought "happy day,"

But the pike's teeth cut my line, so he was never my prey. 

A WALK BEFORE SUP

I went for a walk with my dog, Sally,

She took a leak and filled up the valley,

Women and children all cried,

The crocodiles died,

We suped at a brew pub, called Galley.