PETS IN THE POOL

My piranha pets that I keep in my pool, needed desperately to eat,

I invited over my neighbor to swim; he was loaded with fatty meat,

The big neighbor jumped into the pool,

With the voracious piranha school,

My pets striped the man's bones of fatty meat, from his bald head to his little feet.

THE SUN BURNED BRAIN

There was tremendous sunshine, slapping down upon my bare, fleshed skull,

It happened to my cousin Mitch, and he ended up thinking, dull,

Mitch, as the town, dullard thinker,

He became a happy drinker,

Then he'd pass out on the docks, and got pooped on by every gull.

THE ADVENTURE OF RIM TIM TIN

I shopped, and  bought a little metal, fishing boat, and I named it Rim Tim Tin,

It was made of tin can-like aluminium, and the aluminium was thin,

I went out in the boat with my dog,

We ran over a floating pine log

The aluminum buckled, my dog chuckled, and the water came rushing in.

MY TRAVELS ABROAD, 1962

I went down to New Zealand to see what was new,

The waves were real splashy, and the water was blue,

There were giant mountains on Cook,

I took a panoramic look,

Back home, I took days to rest; I needed a few.

TOILETS FOR THE BEASTS WITH SCALES

Way down at the very bottom of the great blue bay,

The fish installed some potties, to send their poop away,

It's good for fishes, and me, and you,

It makes the bay a shiny, true blue,

Best of all, the rich tourist are prolonging their stay.

AND THE ANGELS SING, "HARK"

Deep, deep down in Lake Michigan water, where it is horribly, dark,

I swam straight into the big, smelly belly, of a hammerhead, shark,

In that big, hammerhead belly,

Was a stinging fish, a jelly,

I died, and now with the angels I sing, their favorite tune, called, "Hark".

TWO LITTLE MINK AND THE BOBCAT

Two little mink ran around the lake, eating dead fish that washed up on the shore,

The little mink ran into a bobcat, then the two little mink were no more,

After chewing mink bones,

The cat napped on beach stones,

After napping, the bobcat looked for food, because his belly begged for some more.

ME AND LARRY, AND OUR LITTLE CRIB

My pet goldfish Larry, only has one big fin,

He swims real funny, when he surfaces for din,

His bowl sits on the floor,

Right behind the front door,

My crib is tiny, so my fish display is min.

A PIRATE DINGY

Tilly raised his pirate flag, above his dingy, that sat out on the bay,

When Tilly rowed toward a victim, they would lift up anchor, and drift away,

Tilly was not a great pirate skipper,

Never got loot;  some gave him canned kipper,

At night, you can still hear someone rowing, it's Tilly the pirate, some say.

SHARING WEEDS WITH MY MICHIGAN MOOSE

With a Michigan moose, I formed a real tight bond,

We both liked to chew on weeds, in a holding pond,

To make pond weeds to be tasty,

Do not chew on them, too hasty,

Or, they'll be bitter, and that's a taste, I'm not fond.

TRINA WENT BASS FISHING, WITH A WORM

Trina went trolling out on a flat lake, with a big plastic worm,

She kept her worm lure close to the boat, to watch the plastic worm squirm,

Trina made only one pass,

When her worm was attacked by a bass,

Trina was so surprised, she fell overboard, and ruined her perm.

CONSUMING CORN WITH FRIENDS

Four dudes, sitting by some flames at the beach, were eating sweet corn,

After fire toasting, they used butter and salt, to adorn,

It was corn stuck on cobs,

Drippings made all dudes slobs,

They went back to their town lives, where the next working day is born.

I'M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME, FISHES

Tammy let everyone know that she was a G.O.A.T

The greatest of all time, at sailing a sailing boat,

Her jealous brother, Doug,

Pulled her big, sailboat plug,

Tammy sank down to Poseidon, and that's all she wrote.

I WISH UPON THE SERPENT

There is a big, mighty, green sea serpent, and his name is Moe,🐉

He swims alongside everywhere, my little boat will go,🚣

Sometimes I get rowboat tired,

I then wish the beast, whom I've admired,

Would push or pull my boat along, so I would not have to row..

TWO PEG LARRY, AND THE BIG BULL SHARK

I got attacked by a big bull shark, and he chewed off both of my legs,

My best buddy Rusty, found some hickory, and whittled me two pegs,

They call me Two Peg Larry,

Little kids think I look scary,

I can't get any job, so outside the bar, I sits, I whines, I begs.

THE GREAT BAY SERPENT.

There's a serpent living out in our great bay,

In the winter, that's where the serpent will stay,

Don't go out in a boat,

 He will sense where you float,

The serpent torments and eats boaters for play.

GOLDFISH RHONDA ADVENTURES

Goldfish Rhonda, walked on her tale, out of the sea,

She brought me gold, so I could wear bling and watch tv,

I made buttered popcorn,

She hung around till morn,

Then Goldfish Rhonda, took a cab to Manistee.

I WAS A CESSPOOL DIVER; NOT AN OLYMPIC SPORT

I went diving in a nasty cesspool, desperate to come clean,

It made my face all pucker up, so I used mamas Maybelline,

The cess got in my beautiful hair,

That's why my hair is no longer there,

I'll not enter a cesspool again, except in a submarine.

I EVOLVED AND WENT BACK TO.THE SEA

I woke up this morning without hands, arms or feet,

Instead, I had flippers; how am I supposed to eat?

I flopped down to the bay,

I feel better, I'd say,

Except, I'm sick of eating fish, and desire red meat.

LITTLE MEN WENT FISHING

Seven little men walked way out upon the frozen lake,

They had gone there to see how many fishies they could take,

Three of the men, they drowned,

Three more froze, searchers found,

The last little man went home, and had scrambled eggs and stake.