APARTMENT FIRE, BEAN SUPPER PROSPECTS? DIRE

All of my big brain was completely locked-in,

On getting some sweet, baked beans, out of a tin,

It's was a small, rusty can

The opener ran, and ran,

There was a fire, now I'll not get my din.

MY POVERTY AND SKINNY JEANS

The place where I live, we have little income means,

That is why we live on rice, beetle bugs and beans,

I eat a few teaspoons of food,

I've evolved; I'm a thinner dude,

I wish I had money, to buy some skinny jeans.

SQUAT AND FORAGE LIKE A MAN

I live in a dilapidated, housing den,

Along with 16 other homeless, hungry men,

We go to the zoo,

Eat animal poo,

Then rummage in garbage, after curfew, at ten.

IN THE KINGDOM OF THE SQUATTERS, THE ONE NIGHT SQUAT IS KING

I have squatted 10,000 days, and been in jail, 10,000 more,

Spending  nights in comfy, warm beds, next day, it's jail, and a food store,

What great wealth can I show?

Well, I'm happy, you know,

It's luxurious living, then meals with the jail friends, I adore.

A SQUAT GUIDE FOR THE UNEMPLOYED

The economy is as repulsive as gray, boogered snot,15

With no money for rent, I find vacant homes, for a quick squat,14

Sometimes, there is a find of some food,

For humans, cats or dogs, I'm not rude,

Sometimes I find a real classy place, like one with a Roombot.

THE OLD PEOPLE DREAM, AND THE REAL

I dream of eating a whole stick of rich butter,

Once I can afford to move, from this pee gutter,

But, there's no jobs about,

For this geezer with gout,

Last time I fell down, it left me with a stutter.

FEEDING POOR KIDS POE

I was so darn hungry, I started eating fresh, fallen snow,

I flavored it with weed seeds, that didn't cause me poisoning, woe,

I flavored the kid's snow with lime juice,

Told them the the snow was magic goose,

Then I read to them "The Tell Tale Heart", by Edgar Allen Poe.

FOOD INSECURITY, ARE NICE WORDS THAT MEAN STARVATION

Because of severe economic, downturn inflation,

My family's food stores are all gone like a castration,

Gone are foods in cans and the jars,

Food I found in the seats of cars,

We're eating bark and grass, out of hunger, desperation.

MY INVESTMENT STRATEGY

I invested in some stocks, and that felt crazy, nice,

I never quite realized, I was just rolling fixed dice,

I lost all of my money,

Got divorced from Sweet Honey,

The only foods I can afford, are split peas and rice.

THE WINTER OF OUR REAL HIGH RENT

Our search for employment, did not go well,

We've run out of blood, and assets to sell,

Our landlord was unkind,

Said the rent we must find,

By the 1st stroke of the Sunday church bell.

THE SILVER PENNY FED MY FACE

I found a silver penny, lying out on an old, blacktop street,

It was dated 1943, when a penny bought you meat,

Inflation has taken a big toll,

My purchase power is in the hole,

A collector bought my penny, for tatter chips that I did eat.

FOUR MOLE STEW

I dug up four, large ground moles, for my evening din, din,

I found a bottle of ketchup; overall a win, win,

I had to feed my cat, too,

To stretch, I made stew,

We ate our fine feast together; me and my pet cat, Flynn.  

SAVING MONEY IS A PAIN IN THE NECK

My new pillow was as flat as a sheet,

For my neck, it was never any treat,

Flat pillows are the norm,

They don't fit my head form,

They are cheap, and I am saving to eat.

American Cuisine, On The Road

I went out to scrape pavement, because I was hungry for sup,

Didn't know if the critter was a weasel, or someone's stray pup,

Too small for a bear,

Really, did not care,

Figured it would taste good mixed with noodles, and served in a cup.

MY STREET APARTMENT IS GONE

The crickets are still chirping, but the air has turned coughing cold,

I'd take me an apartment, but those affordable are sold,

I set up a tent,

While at work, it went,

A garbage truck took it far away, that is what I was told.

MAKING STEW ON A BUDGET

I just got home, and I put on water for stew,

I put on some coffee, and I'm making that new,

I do not have any meat,

Or vegetables to eat,

My stew will have road salt, and some black pepper too

.

RICHIE HARD TIMES

He had a tic in his tock, 

And, a big rock in his sock,

He spent everyday, listening to Rosy Land Bach,

His debts started to swell,

He had nothing to sell,

Now, he spends every evening at the Boys Club & Dock.

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COUCH PANTS

Jimmy had pants made of real nice Naugahyde,

Only pair that exists, and I've never lied,

His mama was poor,

Couldn't shop at a store,

Made Jimmy's pants from a couch, sitting outside.

THE POOR HILLBILLY BILLY BLUES

I'm a hillbilly, and I really needs some more,

They call me Poor Billy, because I'm so dirt poor,

Never had no new shoes,

Or socks that came in two's,

I grew up eating dirt, because dirt was our floor.

BAND KIDS ARE SNEAKY

I just ate some spoiled, real stringy string beans,

I bought them from band kids, who were in their mid-teens,

They need money for camp,

So they conned this old tramp,

I gave them dollars, so there went all of my greens.