MY ROOMMATE IS A PIG POEM

My roommate lives on the dole,
He never sweeps the floor,
He never cleans the toilet bowl,
Or, flushes anymore,

My roommate lives just day to day,
He never has a job,
The rent he'll never help to pay,
He is just a big fat slob,

My roommate is just not all there,
He'll never get a gig,
What people think he does not care,
My roommate is a pig,

Don't find roommates on the Internet,
You'll be real sorry if you do,
Online roommates will make you upset,
The day they move in you will rue.

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THE SERPENT UNDER THE ROCK

There was a poison filled serpent underneath a pretty granite rock,

I thought I'd find a stick and clobber him, and record it for Tik Tok,

Then the serpent slithered toward me,

Bit me just below my bad knee,

As I lay crying, dying, the nasty serpent danced around, to mock.

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THE SIMPLE CHEF

I have made a peanut butter post,

Taught people how to spread it on toast,

Next post, it's my fruit jelly,

It's both chewy and smelly,

PBJ on toast, bests a beef roast.

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THE DELIVERY SNAIL

I decided to buy a new front door,

But, it's too far to the nearest door store,

I bought a door through the mail,

It was delivered by snail,

And boy, was that little snail feeling soar.

THE PERCH OF WINSTON CHURCH

Before Benny went back to school, he said, "bye", to Winston Church,

Winston is a parakeet, who sits and poops upon his perch,

Benny left Winston food to eat,

Filled Winston's water, and left a treat,

Some days when Winston gets real board, he does a Google search.

MY TWEET, TWEET WAR

I got told off, and it was bitter,

By a bot troll, trolling Twitter,

They said I was a stupid quitter,

Said I should shut up, or I'd getter,

I addressed the bot, called them, Dim Witter. 

THE DAY OF SEDITION

I went into the parlor to listen to some Bach,

I then ordered dinner when, I noticed the tic-tok,

The TV talked sedition,

As I consumed my noon nutrition,

After I was done eating, I went online and sold my stock.