GETTING READY FOR WORK

I brush my teeth then wash my mouth out with a cup of ginger ale, 

I then spit out the ginger ale into a thing I call a pail,

To mood enhance,

I do a dance,

I then put on my uniform, and go to work guarding a jail.

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POP ADDICTION

I went cold-freeze turkey,

Was muddled and murky,

I could never stop,

Drinking soda pop,

I'm now mean, and jerky. 

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PINE NEEDLE CHEW FOR SPOONING

I put four acorns in my green, mint tea,

That makes a bitter flavor taste for me,

I chew needles of pine,

So my breath smells fresh, fine,

Now my honey will go spooning with me.

GINGER BEER POISIONING

I brewed up some ginger beer,

Didn't drink it until the brew was clear,

It packed a punch,

I lost my lunch,

My friend didn't, now he's not here.

WHAT DADDY MAKES IN THE BACKWOODS.

I had some fun juice that tasted so fine,

No after affect like banana wine,

I drank it for my dinner,

It earned title of winner,

I think daddy makes if from needles of pine.

TINY BUBBLES OR TAP

There were tiny bubbles, exploding in my pop,

They were giving me a headache, and I could not make them stop,

So, to ease my bad head pain,

I poured my pop down the drain,

Now, I drink tap water, that smells like its from my mop.

WHEN I DRINK I FIND SOME THINGS

In my Tuesday coffee mocca, I found someone's lost toenail,

It was big and olive green, and it made me turn quite pale,

The nail was from a big toe,

Not flat, it had a bow,

Now I find an earwax glob, floating in my Wednesday ale.

EPITAPH IN RHYME

I was eating some beans flavored with dill,

Drank a soda to wash down the bad swill,

I didn't know my cola,

Was laced with Ebola,

Then they buried me way far up the hill.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND NOTHING

I'm the only one I know that does not have a quantum physics degree,

All that fancy math and stuff are just too much for me,

I don't even understand, the signal that gets boxed in my tv,

Can't comprehend why in algebra, they use the letters x, y and z,

And the biggest mystery of all; why do English Folk drink tea.

GEORGE BUILT A TEMPLE

George built a small temple, to worship a big tree,

It was built out of the wood, called mahogany,

George worshipped a white pine,

It had needles, real fine,

George boiled the needles to make vitamin tea.

RAINBOWS, CLOWNS AND SODA BURPS

A rainbow got real close to the ground,

It's vibration made a humming sound,

The humming made my mind go clown,,

 I quickly drank my soda down,

Drinking soda causes burps, I found.

THE BRAIN CELL KILLER

Jim cannot tell a tomato from a potato, anymore,

Those brain cells must have died, when he walked into that door,

All the vodka, flavored cherry

That Jim drank, to be merry,

Made his head and guts as well, a very achy soar.

MY SPOILED LITTLE TOAD

My pet, Toad went out to eat some early, springtime bugs,

But he got really cold, and asked for my hot hugs,

Unlike the mammalian form,

Toad's blood is cold, not warm,

So I made us both hot coco, served in thermal mugs.

WEE LITTLE BENNY DONE TEA

Benny wanted a much better tea,

One that gave him great joy and much glee,

Benny found a great taster,

Now he's not a tea waster,

But he spends all his time going wee.

Kindergarten Blues

If I have to drink tea again, I'm going to resign,

Some days I want coffee, some days I pine wine,

In kindergarten, all day,

I am stuck there with no pay,

Staying home with mommy, watching soaps, suits me fine.

HOW I SERVE MY TATER-TOTS AND TEA

I shop stores and yard sales for teapots,

I buy them as singles, or in lots,

I buy some cause they're  pretty,

I buy uglies out of pity,

I host tea, and serve frozen tater-tots. 

MUSK

I had this friend named Musk,

He had a tooth that stuck out like a tusk,

He drank Ovaltine,

Until his ears turned bright green,

He loved corn🌽, but only the husk,

CHRISTMAS PINE NEEDLE TEA WAS THE VERY END OF ME

The needles on my Christmas tree, were treated with bug spray,

So when I drank pine needle tea, I was dead by end of day,

The ground was froze,

And so it goes,

I wasn't buried til end of May.

HOLIDAY SHOPPING

Mom went to the market for holiday sauce,

I rode along because she was the boss,

Mom picked out some wine,

And very thin twine,

For after each meal mom would floss.

THE SNOW PARK TWO

I went to the Snow Park because I had a free pass,

But it was so cold and snowy, I froze my mass,

But I had some cheer,

Drinking ice cold root beer,

until I slipped and fell down on my glass.