WINTER DEAD

We all hope that enough winter nuts, we have now, squirreled,

As the dark, bleak drapes of winter, cover our new world,

And, ode to the snow, white,

Covering the dead fall, blight,

While we hold close our others, under blankets, half furled.

SCREAM PARK

In the small town of Mancelona, there was a dream,

To build a family fun park with an outdoor theme,

The theme chosen was bears,

But it gave all the kids, scares,

Instead of a fun park, it was the park of the scream.

WHEN THE BEAR POUND, I GO UNDERGROUND

I heard a loud pound, pound, pounding on my door in back,

It was a grizzly bear, wanting his afternoon snack,

The old grizzly wanted me,

To digest in his belly,

I hid in the basement, because courage I did lack.

HOWLING, NO GOODS

I made paths through an acre of woods,

So I could stroll with friends from my hoods,

But, no one came near,

Because they said they could hear,

A howling, and that was not goods.

THE SNAKE IN THE POOL LIMERICK

A snake fell into my swimming pool,

I guess he wanted to feel real cool,

He chased us all away,

On a hot summer day,

Now "no snakes in the pool" is the rule.

END OF TGHE WORLD

I have shortwave radio, for the end of the world,

I have plenty of gold and silver bars, squirreled,

I have potted meat,

Plenty to eat,

And a surrender flag; I fly unfurled. 

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MOMMY IS A DINOSAUR

Little Derek, he was four,

Thought mommy was a dinosaur,

When asleep, she'd loudly snore,

Sounded like a mega roar,

That shook the hinges on Derek's door.

THE CHICKEN LIST

I did not make a "bucket list" of things I have enjoyed,

Instead I made a "chicken list" of things I would avoid,

I avoided things with claws,

And big teeth in their jaws,

I wouldn't go outside, if someone was playing with their droid.

THE FEAR OF SOAPS, SHOWERS AND FLOWERS

There was a grocery bagger, named Howard,

Howard was by all measures, a true coward,

He hardly ever used soap and then showered,

His many smells made him feel more empowered,

He feared the soap scent would make him smell flowered.

FRIDAY THE 13TH, BROWNIES AND "DIE DAY"

It is the evil number 13, on a Friday,

In the scary movies, it is known as the "die day",

You all better beware,

Get too much of a scare,

The back of undies, will have a big brownie pie day.

THE LITTLE GREEN WARLOCK STAIRS

A little green warlock, lived at the top of my stairs,

He refused to go outside, because of the big bears,

I said just cast a spell,

Send the bears off to dwell,

To a land where there's plenty of fish, honey, and pears.

TOE TAG BENNY, CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD

Benny was stone cold and toe tagged, when he came back from the dead,

His resurrection was unnerving, that's what the nurses said,

It unnerved his spouse,

Who moved out of the house,

So, Benny moved in a demon roommate, and his name was Fred.

PIGS GOT MY PAP AND BOYS

All the morel mushrooms were being dug up by feral pigs,

So, we went out hunting them, by following their pig digs,

But, those clever pigs dug a trap,

Caught my two kids, and my pap,

I then bravely ran away, to hide at cousin Quigs.

I CREATE CONSPIRACY THEORIES, BECAUSE I AM EVIL AND MEAN

I love spreading conspiracy theories,

They scare both enemies and dearies,

"Spaceships invade,"

"There's a Bigfoot parade,"

Just say it, there's no need for queries

WHEN BRINE SHRIMP ATTACK

My tank full of guppies was completely unease,

So I bought some brine shrimp, to try to please,

One brine shrimp grew bigger,

Ate my fish and cat, Trigger,

I now beg him for mercy, while down on my knees.

THE SCRAPER OF TERROR

I moved into a skyscraper that scraped across the sky,

It swayed, and it was scary, and I started to cry,

Then the lightening gave a peal,

And I thought it a comforting deal,

I went to bed humming Brahms' Lullaby.

A BIG SQUIRRELY DECISION

I decided I was going out in the woods to hunt squirrel,

I took along with me my favorite hunting hound, Pearl,

But the squirrel was big and mean,

Ten foot tall, maybe 15,

We runs back to my old shack,  so we could hide and curl.

FROSTING AND THE BEAR ON SKATES

I spotted a bear on ice skates come zooming from across the lake,

He eyed me as I stuffed my mouth with frosting covered cake,

So I dropped my cake and fled,

With hope I would not soon be dead,

The bear stoped to lick off the frosting, so my soul he did not take.

JINGLE BELL BERT AND THE RED RIDING HOODS

There was a bear waiting in the darkening woods,

He was waiting to steal my dried and caned up goods,

So I got my jingle bell named Bert,

I rang Bert until the bear's ears hurt,

The frightened bear then coughed up, six red riding hoods.

ZOMBIES

I always make sure I shoot the zombie in the head,

That's the only sure way you know that zombie be dead,

If you pass a zombie too near,

He's sure to bite you on the ear,

Then you be squirting out red.